something new | Indie Scriptorium — Self Publishing Collective

Make your writing Zing!

I’m writing my third novel and still learning. Making my writing more dynamic and engaging is one skill I’m trying to develop. I’ve known while some scenes are full of emotion and action, other parts of my draft tend to wither into bland backstory or boring prose. I need to make my writing Zing.

The rule of “show not tell” is one of the writing rules churned out to fix boring writing. But what do we mean by showing, not telling?

I interpret showing as progressing the storyline by having my character storm around the scene with white lips, beating heart, clenched fists, and flashing eyes. They might be overcome by the smell of roses and hear the plaintive warble of a magpie. Yes, it’s all about the senses. Oh, don’t forget taste, she says with a mouthful of ashes.

Telling is informing your reader that your character is angry, smelt roses, heard a magpie, and has halitosis. Not really Zingy.

I entered a competition with my second novel and received lovely feedback from most of the judges. One judge, however, was less complimentary and hated much of what I had written. Gosh, that hurt. Despite all the warm fuzzy praise, I took the negative critique to heart, then dismissed it. After all, the other judges liked what I had written, and I got into the finals. But after I got over the elation, I took out the negative critique and with trembling hands read the judgement again.

They were right. There was critique I discarded; I honestly felt they were looking for a traditional romantic story and my novel didn’t fit the bill. But their critique of my prose was insightful and confronting and right. I will illustrate this using the actual paragraph the judge picked out to illustrate his/her point.

My line— “Eleanor had more energy and a new zest for life.”

Judges’ line— “Energy sizzled inside her, driving her to paint. Oh, how wonderful it was to pick up a brush and apply paint to a canvas again. Now that she’s accepted the facts, her life had become much better and full of zest.”

The judge’s line is full of Zing. It goes inside Eleanor, makes her feel the energy, expresses her joy, and put her emotion into the action of painting. She actively accepts that she cannot have a child, and acceptance improves her mood and energy.

I believe changing my writing style to make it Zing will require practice. I am writing a first draft of my third novel and have decided that just getting the story down is my priority. But enlivening my prose will take second priority. I will add another layer of editing with the express purpose of Zinging my prose.

Another technique for adding Zing is to use dialogue. Have characters, explain things, pontificate, console, complain, fight, disclose, advise, snub, berate order, and entice. Conversations are fun and show your character’s motivations, desires, beliefs, and points of view. They can also show how a character learns something, amends their belief, and grows as a character. Using secondary characters, friendly or not, will help your character interact and make your writing Zing. Have a look at Agatha Christie, for a masterful example of storytelling using dialogue

Sandy Vaile in her article Clarify, ‘showing for good’ provides excellent advice about aspects of active story telling. I found her ideas about placing characters in challenging situations edifying. If I’m writing a dramatic scene with action my writing Zings, my prose is stronger, and the words flow. But not all my scenes have an elevated level of conflict. In the future, I will plot more scenes with conflict. The conflict could be an internal battle with a problem or emotions or an external conflict with another person or situation but making life difficult for heroes and heroines is my new goal.

Another way to make your writing Zing is to make sure each sentence is active. I’m the queen of the passive voice but I came across a great explanation for active and passive sentences in Sandy Vaile’s’ article. Sandy states you should put the action first and the subject second and gives wonderful examples.

Passive–Tina’s homework was marked in red pen by Mrs. Gleeson. (The subject before the verb/action)

Active–Mrs. Gleeson marked Tina’s homework with a red pen. (The verb/action before the subject)

Passive–The burglar was tackled by the detective.

Active–The detective tackled the burglar.

I’m still learning about active prose. As I’m writing my first draft, some days the words flow and some days they don’t and that is often because of the setting of the scene. Planning more active and challenging situations in my plotting, adding secondary characters who engage my protagonist in active dialogue and making my characters use their senses are all techniques to master. Getting the passive/active voice is also a challenge.

Happy writing.

***

Acknowledgements

Sandy Vaile. Clarify ‘showing for good’ Romance Writers of Australia Hearts Talk August 2022.

Sandy Vaile is a motorbike-riding daredevil who writes romantic-suspense for Simon & Schuster US and supports fiction authors to produce novels they are proud to share with the world (and which get noticed by agents and publishers), through coaching, craft workshops and developmental editing.

Connect with

Sandy Vaile

www.linktr.ee/fearlessprose

© Elsie King 2022

Feature Photo: A Difficult Environment © L.C. Wong

My Mission, My Journey

A Very, Very, No, I mean VERY Good Idea

In 2008, my late uncle who was playwright and author flicked through the wads of paper, an early version of my manuscript called “Mary’s Story”. He didn’t like Science Fiction. He called it “Soap Opera in space”.

‘Well, at least you have only typed on one side of the page—you can use the other side, at least.’

“My baby” judged and found wanting and for very good reason. Uncle outlined all that was wrong with the novel—weasel words, you know the ones ending in “-ly”, and a thesaurus of words other than “said”, a parade of passives and you name it, I did it—wrong—in “my baby”.

‘And,’ he went on, ‘you need to number the pages.’

Good point.

‘But,’ Uncle stressed, ‘and this is a very, very, good idea. I don’t mean very good, I mean very, very, very good.’ He leafed through to near the end of the manuscript and pointed at the paragraph on the Wends. ‘I like the idea about the Wends.’

Historical fiction was Uncle’s thing.

Anyway, the next novel I was writing at the time, Diamonds in the Cave, has Wends. Thus began the formulation of a future novel, The Lost World of the Wends.

Then the best advice ever and for which I’m forever grateful to my late Uncle Richard. ‘Join a writers’ group,’ he said.

I did and I love it. Writing is a craft and I needed to hone my skill with the gentle and sometimes not-so-gentle feedback from my writing companions and mentor.

Mary’s Story was shoved in a box and hidden in the closet, never to see the light of a computer screen and I moved on. The group enjoyed my Central Australian Safari story. Yay!

Then in 2010, inspired by the biblical account where Jesus healed the man with the withered arm, I remembered Mary’s Story languishing in the closet. With my honed writing skills, I reworked the novel, plotting, developing characters, and cutting all those not-so-wonderful weasel words. I read successive chapters to the group and they got stuck into that all important helpful feedback. More changes—Mary morphed into Minna, Gunter morphed into a Grey alien and then Fox and then back to Gunter. The Hitch-hiker was born. The back story to Liesel’s itch to touch developed. And the word “was” culled.

Happy with the result in 2011, I emailed “my refined baby” to my mentor. Over our summer break, she pulled “my baby” apart. Not just withered arms, but legs, torso and head too—a vestige of Oliver Cromwell sent back to me in sections labelled: Formatting, Grammar and Spelling, Characters and Plot—Chapter by Chapter. The time, effort, and detail she put into how to fix the novel was a book.

Was there anything right with “my baby”?

I spent the next eighteen months putting the broken and more withered effigy of a novel back together. Again, rather than giving up, I embarked on this project to polish my craft. Story-time with my mum became a regular treat; first for me and then as I improved, for mum too.

When I’d completed putting the pieces back together, I contemplated the prospect of showing the mentor the finished product. But after discussion with another member of the writers’ group, I decided to get a second opinion and engaged another editor. I also re-read “my reworked, unrecognisable baby” to the writers’ group. What a difference! What a change! But still more editing…

In 2014, I recorded my story on audio and then listened to it. Best editing and proof-reading tool ever!

So…after combing through the novels dozens of times…and now all grown up, but perhaps like any of us, not perfect, The Mission of the Unwilling and The Hitch-hiker sit on the Amazon shelves…And now, the book, The Lost World of the Wends which my uncle said was a very, very, no, VERY good idea is, no longer lost, but can be found in the world of published books, too.

And my challenge continues as it has done for the past number of years…Advertising and promotion…and blogging.

Plus, in the last year, the formation of Indie Scriptorium.