Grammar Made Easy–Apostrophes

September 17, 2022September 17, 2022 / lmkling / Leave a comment

RAISED COMMAS aka “DRATTED APOSTROPHES”

These little things seem to cause more angst, confusion and errors than any other feature of our written language. There is even a move afoot to eliminate them altogether. Which would be tragic as they play a critical role in clarifying meaning. By way of demonstration, can you decode the precise meaning of each of the following phrases:

1. The dog’s collar;

2. The dogs’ collars;

3. The dog’s collars;

4. The dogs’ collar.

Three words; the only differences being that two of the final words end in ‘s’ and also the position of the apostrophe. Yet each of those four has a very different meaning and, lacking that little squiggle, the meaning would be, not only obscure, but impossible to work out. Context could help of course but not necessarily. Why make life harder than it need be?

Let’s see if I can clarify the issue. Apostrophes have one job to do, and one only. Part of the confusion lies in the fact that this one job has two different aspects to it.

The one job is that it indicates something has been left out so therefore it is a form of abbreviation.

This happens when we turn speech into writing. When speaking we tend to hurry things along a bit – it’s much easier to say can’t and didn’t than cannot and did not. Used in this way our squiggle is termed an “Apostrophe of Contraction” because we have left out, not only the space between two words, but one or more of the sounds and therefore, the letters that represent those sounds, when we put it into writing.

The second instance is called the “Apostrophe of Possession” and is somewhat more complex. But not impossible as there is a rule you can follow that simplifies things beautifully. Before we get onto this “rule” let’s sort out just what is left out though.

Possession means someone or something belongs to someone or something; alternatively there is an owner and who or what is owned by that owner. Thus it always involves two naming words (i.e. nouns in grammar speak). For instance “Jane’s brooch” tells us that Jane owns the brooch; the brooch belongs to Jane. Thus it is the words denoting ownership that have been omitted.

Well then, what is this rule that is going to simplify things?

Take a deep breath and follow the steps:

1. Work out who or what is the owner and what is being owned.

2. Write down the name of the owner and nothing else. If it is a person then the name is easy but if it happens to be more than one thing (e.g. a couple of dogs; a herd of cows; a fleet of yachts…) the owner is plural so that is what you must write down.

3. Add the apostrophe.

4. Say the phrase aloud (owner and what it is that belongs to that owner) listening carefully. If you hear yourself saying “s” (or an extra “s” if the owner’s name happens to end in “s”) on the end of the owner then add it.

5. Write down what is owned.

Done! And done correctly.

The result can, on occasion look quite bizarre. By way of example consider the following: A visitor arrives, is welcomed and asked to take a seat; heads for a comfortable looking chair but host says, “Sorry, please don’t sit there. That’s puss’s chair”. Go through the steps and you’ll see this is grammatically correct, both spoken and written

Were you able to sort out the dogs and collars puzzle I gave you in the beginning?

If not, here is the solution:

1. The dog’s collar (one dog and one collar – presumably that collar belongs to that dog).

2. The dogs’ collars (several dogs each with its own collar).

3. The dog’s collars (obviously a pampered pooch with a whole wardrobe of collars!!).

4. The dogs’ collar (possibly a succession of family dogs with the same collar serving several generations. Or maybe – sad to say – several dogs having to share the same collar!!).

© Mary McDee 2022

Feature Photo: The Dogs’ Collars © L.M. Kling 2013

Publishing Tips–Writing a Standout Synopsis

September 10, 2022 / lmkling / 1 Comment

***“You need a sparkling synopsis.” ~ Fiona McIntosh 2015***

So, what do you need after you have edited your novel? If you intend to submit it for publication or to an agent, a synopsis is a requirement. Even in self-publishing, a synopsis is a great exercise to summarise your novel for marketing and creating your blurb.

A synopsis is more than a summary of your novel. It must capture the attention of a publisher or agent. A working document, it condenses your plot succinctly, introduces the major protagonists, defines the conflict, and ties it all up into a logical and satisfying ending.

There is a plethora of web pages devoted to the art of writing a perfect synopsis. It is well worth Googling “how to write a synopsis for a novel.” You will find a treasure trove of information. I found two web sites helpful when writing this piece for the Indie Scriptorium blog. https://jericowriters.com and https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-write-a-novel-synopsis-step-by-step-guide and have summarised their information.

Start with a pitch line that demands attention.
Announce the title and mention the genre, word count, setting and era.
The synopsis must be short and easy to read. I recommend one page. Single spaced with a word count of 500-700 words but if submitting a novel for a competition, agent, or publisher check if they have specific requirements.
Grammar, spelling, and word selection must be perfect. The synopsis is selling you as a writer. Get it checked by someone with editing skills.
Write in the third person and use gender neutral language. E.g., police officer, not policeman.
Cover all the major plot points, including spoilers and the ending. There should be no mysteries in a synopsis. The publisher wants to know you have finished the book, and it has a great ending.
Name two or three of major protagonists and their motivations. Bring them alive. Demonstrate how they grow and change and make them shine.
Clearly convey the tone of the novel but the emphasis is the story, allow the theme to sneak in without belabouring the point.
Avoid praising yourself in a synopsis or include positive reader reviews.

Expect to write, rewrite, rewrite and then do it again so give yourself time to get it right.

Writing: That Question–Characters

September 3, 2022September 4, 2022 / lmkling / 1 Comment

Writing Tips: Developing Your Characters and Story

That Question

Question: What makes a story stand out for you? What makes you want to read past the first page? The first chapter? The first book? Or if you are watching shows on your favourite streaming service, what makes you want to forget about all else and binge?

I like crime shows, mostly not-so-real crime such as “Midsomer Murders”, “True Detective” and quirky ones like “Fargo”. Yeah, I could go on, see what I mean? I’ve been bingeing.

You might think, strange for a Sci-Fi (Indie) author. Not surprising, then, I’ve considered doing the reverse of John Wyndham and move genre from Sci-Fi to Crime Fiction. We’ll see…Meanwhile, there’s my travels with the T-Team and the latest the T-Team with Mr. B to look forward to. Funny about that story, Elsie King read it and gave feedback. She suggested the character of Mr. B would fit well into a murder mystery. After initially rejecting the idea, I started working on a character who possessed some of Mr. B’s endearing personality and behaviours in a draft for a future murder mystery.

Anyway, the thing about successful crime shows is how they engage the audience to know the people involved, the characters. The key to the crime (or any genre for that matter) is what the characters want, what they really want, influences their actions, that, in time, lead to tragic consequences. For example, a woman who wants, more than anything else, wealth and security, commits fraud and murder to fulfil her desires.

The question, what your character wants, applies to any story, novel in any genre you write. In one of my recent posts (Choice Bites–Minna) on my website Tru-Kling Creations, Mission of the Unwilling heroine, Minna, in her encounter with Boris came out of an exercise to get to know my characters and what they want most.

Understanding your character’s history helps the reader invest in your character and want to know them more. Whether they are good, like Minna, or an evil antagonist like Boris, exploring your character’s bio, and giving the reader a taste of their history, engages the reader in your character’s life-journey.

Again, the Boris story evolved for me as I delved into the murky depths of Boris’ life; how this alien cockroach as a power-hungry despot destroyed his own world through greed, and then sought to dominate all worlds in the galaxy in the quest to rebuild his empire. I also investigated why he singled out Earth and took revenge on her people.

Then one sunny day, as I sat on my back patio, I made a study of my characters; their personalities, backgrounds, and interactions with each other…and by the end of the afternoon, The Hitch-hiker evolved.

Novels are about people—characters. Stuck with your novel’s progress? Writer’s block? Spend an afternoon developing your characters; interview them, find out what their interests are, their birthdate, parents, likes, dislikes, and what they want most. Soon you’ll have them all sitting at a table in a restaurant, discussing, or arguing with each other. You’ll see their story-lines weave in and out like a tapestry. Conflicts will arise, resolutions made with a twist, and villains and heroes will leap out from your computer screen, or page.

Our novels, our stories are life, and life is people. The reality is no one is an island. Even a convict in solitary confinement had parents, had a journey, a reason he ended up in solitary, and people who put him there.

So, getting back to the question, “What makes a story stand out for you?” Here’s the take-away—even simple entertainment, the characters are the key. Get to know your characters, and they will give you a story.

Begin by asking your character: What do you want most in life?

© Lee-Anne Marie Kling 2016; updated 2022

Jetty Boys © M.E. Trudinger circa 1958

***

We invite you, as our audience to respond.

What makes a story stand out for you?

Writing Tips–Copy Editing

August 27, 2022 / lmkling / Leave a comment

Editing—Copy Editing

This edit is most effective when you have finished the structural edit and are satisfied that your story reads, flows well, and makes sense.

Copy editing, also called “line editing” or “content editing”, means that you go through your manuscript line by line to make sure each sentence and paragraph zing.

I find copy editing difficult. I just don’t see the grammar and spelling errors and lose focus quickly. Knowing your weakness as a writer is important and I use whatever help I can to line edit my work.

Lorena Goldsmith suggests you don’t edit from the beginning of your manuscript and work through to the end as you will get caught up in the story and the last chapters tend to suffer as you rush to finish. She advises that skipping around the manuscript is more helpful. Select several pages for editing, then skip to another part of the book and select the next lot of pages. This helps you stay focussed and ensures consistency.

I do multiple edits, each with a different focus. I might edit looking for contractions and adverbs in one edit, and then look at sentence length and overuse of words. Editing for me is a tedious process, but others love it and are geniuses at spotting mistakes. Give them a red pen and they edit like tigers. Revere and reward these people.

Cheating or not, I also use technology. Microsoft Word has a good basic spelling and grammar check and thesaurus. I also use a program called ProWritingAid, which has multiple checks and reviews for the editing impaired. I also pay a professional editor who hones my words into the final draft for proof-reading.

The following is a checklist of things to look for when editing. It’s not definitive.

Have I used the right word/s. Is the meaning clear? Replace a word with a stronger word.
Remove weak/or excessive verbs and adverbs. E.g., He walked quickly, replace with He marched. She spoke gently, replaced by she leaned over and whispered.
Eliminate filler words (for example: just, really, very, that, even.)
Is the selected word in the right mood for the sentence/scene?
Look at word usage. Everyday words are easy to read and understand and don’t stop the flow for the reader. Mix up words, use a thesaurus to find the right word for your line.
Is the word politically correct?
Look for long sentences.
Does the sentence make sense?
Is the paragraph too long?
Are you explaining things too much and repeating information unnecessarily?
Do paragraphs start with the same word, the same style? Mix up your beginnings.
Show not tell. Don’t say “He was nervous” use sweat made him cold as the biting wind cut the air from around him.
Avoid describing emotions. Instead, write a description of your character that incorporates what they smell, hear, feel, see, and touch in their situation that conveys the emotion.
Dialogue–does it flow naturally? Use contractions, e.g. I will to I’ll, as this makes the dialogue more realistic. Does each character have their own voice? Remove unnecessary dialogue, such as “Hello, how are you?” “Yes, good thank you.” It’s just boring. The dialogue should be relevant and move the story along, so make it snappy.
Reduce dialogue attributions. “Where are you going Jim?” Jane asked. Unnecessary, if only Jane and Jim are in the scene.
Look out for cliches. Make metaphors and similes unique and interesting.

After completing your structural and line edit, give it a read. If it’s easily read, tight, well-paced and without obvious bloopers, send it to a professional editor or a competent astute fellow writer. Make amendments, and then it’s ready for the “Proof reading” edit and formatting.

Reference: Lorena Goldsmith-Self Editing Fiction that Sells. (How to Book Ltd. UK-2013)

Photo provided by Creative Commons

Happy editing from Elsie King ©August 27^th, 2022

Writing Journey–My Mission

August 20, 2022August 20, 2022 / lmkling / Leave a comment

My Mission, My Journey

A Very, Very, No, I mean VERY Good Idea

In 2008, my late uncle who was playwright and author flicked through the wads of paper, an early version of my manuscript called “Mary’s Story”. He didn’t like Science Fiction. He called it “Soap Opera in space”.

‘Well, at least you have only typed on one side of the page—you can use the other side, at least.’

“My baby” judged and found wanting and for very good reason. Uncle outlined all that was wrong with the novel—weasel words, you know the ones ending in “-ly”, and a thesaurus of words other than “said”, a parade of passives and you name it, I did it—wrong—in “my baby”.

‘And,’ he went on, ‘you need to number the pages.’

Good point.

‘But,’ Uncle stressed, ‘and this is a very, very, good idea. I don’t mean very good, I mean very, very, very good.’ He leafed through to near the end of the manuscript and pointed at the paragraph on the Wends. ‘I like the idea about the Wends.’

Historical fiction was Uncle’s thing.

Anyway, the next novel I was writing at the time, Diamonds in the Cave, has Wends. Thus began the formulation of a future novel, The Lost World of the Wends.

Then the best advice ever and for which I’m forever grateful to my late Uncle Richard. ‘Join a writers’ group,’ he said.

I did and I love it. Writing is a craft and I needed to hone my skill with the gentle and sometimes not-so-gentle feedback from my writing companions and mentor.

Mary’s Story was shoved in a box and hidden in the closet, never to see the light of a computer screen and I moved on. The group enjoyed my Central Australian Safari story. Yay!

Then in 2010, inspired by the biblical account where Jesus healed the man with the withered arm, I remembered Mary’s Story languishing in the closet. With my honed writing skills, I reworked the novel, plotting, developing characters, and cutting all those not-so-wonderful weasel words. I read successive chapters to the group and they got stuck into that all important helpful feedback. More changes—Mary morphed into Minna, Gunter morphed into a Grey alien and then Fox and then back to Gunter. The Hitch-hiker was born. The back story to Liesel’s itch to touch developed. And the word “was” culled.

Happy with the result in 2011, I emailed “my refined baby” to my mentor. Over our summer break, she pulled “my baby” apart. Not just withered arms, but legs, torso and head too—a vestige of Oliver Cromwell sent back to me in sections labelled: Formatting, Grammar and Spelling, Characters and Plot—Chapter by Chapter. The time, effort, and detail she put into how to fix the novel was a book.

Was there anything right with “my baby”?

I spent the next eighteen months putting the broken and more withered effigy of a novel back together. Again, rather than giving up, I embarked on this project to polish my craft. Story-time with my mum became a regular treat; first for me and then as I improved, for mum too.

When I’d completed putting the pieces back together, I contemplated the prospect of showing the mentor the finished product. But after discussion with another member of the writers’ group, I decided to get a second opinion and engaged another editor. I also re-read “my reworked, unrecognisable baby” to the writers’ group. What a difference! What a change! But still more editing…

In 2014, I recorded my story on audio and then listened to it. Best editing and proof-reading tool ever!

So…after combing through the novels dozens of times…and now all grown up, but perhaps like any of us, not perfect, The Mission of the Unwilling and The Hitch-hiker sit on the Amazon shelves…And now, the book, The Lost World of the Wends which my uncle said was a very, very, no, VERY good idea is, no longer lost, but can be found in the world of published books, too.

And my challenge continues as it has done for the past number of years…Advertising and promotion…and blogging.

Plus, in the last year, the formation of Indie Scriptorium.

© Lee-Anne Marie Kling 2021; updated 2022

Feature Photo/painting: Luthertal —**The Lost World of the Wends**

Writing Tips–SdT

August 12, 2022August 12, 2022 / lmkling / Leave a comment

“SDT” is IMPORTANT—But what on earth is “SDT”?

We writers are told that we should concentrate on “show don’t Tell” in order to ensure our work is powerful and appealing to the reader. But what does this actually mean?

For many of us our Primary schooling years included sessions of “show and tell”. This always involved carting along some object we thought might interest others then standing up in front of the class and talking about it. If we did this well we received accolades that made us swell with pride; it was great and did our egos no end of good. “Show and tell” involved both an object and a talk. Neither of which has much connection with writing, does it?

Show don’t Tell is a very different kettle of fish. What does it mean – exactly? And how on earth do we achieve it?

The thing to realise is that there are actually two facets to this problem. The first is dialogue which we talked about last week. The second, for want of a better word, is “description”. This is the prose that links the dialogue bits together; the bits that can’t be covered by dialogue.

If we think of film, TV or the theatre, there is a lot of speaking (dialogue) but equally important is the acting; the movement, the expression on the face, the tone of voice… This is true whether it is Shakespeare, a sitcom or the worst sort of crass commercial. Both are essential to move the story along and maintain the interest of the viewer.

Even in radio where the visual has been eliminated there is much more than simply talk – music, sound effects (water dripping or waves crashing; cars racing; planes taking off; screams; laughter…). Dialogue is important. But only part of the deal. When we are writing “description” is the equivalent of acting and sound effects.

By way of illustration, compare the following two accounts of the same event, an excerpt from my (unpublished) children’s story, Chaos in the Kingdom:

“Lady Cecilia was exhausted but could not fall asleep. She was so worried about what had happened yesterday; how she’d realised what was causing all the trouble in the household. She held herself responsible. She tossed and turned all night then finally fell asleep as the sun rose.

It was late when she woke up and for a short while enjoyed being in her own room again; back with her own family. When she thought of the family she remembered how upset she’d been and got out of bed, put on her dressing gown and hurried downstairs. Miss Honoria met her in the hall, saw something was wrong so ordered tea and toast then took her outside to sit in the garden. She tried to calm her even though she had no idea what the matter was but her efforts were not much good.”

Now for the second version of the same incident:

Meanwhile, in a bedroom back at the castle the Lady Cecilia, despite feeling exhausted, was unable to drift into peaceful slumber as she had done so easily every night since returning home. She tossed and turned, fussed and fretted, switched on the light and tried to read but gave up, unable to make any sense of all the black marks on the pages. She longed for the night to end then finally, just as dawn began to break, fell into a troubled slumber.

When she woke it was late in the morning. She stretched luxuriously, smiling to herself as she did every morning at the delicious pleasure of awakening in her own bed in her own room in her own home with her own family all around her. Her family!

Memory flooded in. Dismay overcame her. She tumbled from the bed, thrust her feet into slippers and, seizing her robe, struggled to don it as she left the room and hurried downstairs. Miss Honoria met her in the hall and, taking one look at her, hastily ordered tea and toast then shepherded her out into the warmth and fresh air of a sunshiny day. Comfortable garden seats in a sheltered spot were nearby and she was soon installed in one. Miss Honoria murmured soothing nothings as Lady Cecilia wrung her hands and kept moaning, ‘How could I? Oh, how could I? I’m so silly. How could I have done that?’

Did you enjoy reading one more than the other? Can you work out why?

Which one gave you the clearer picture of what happened and what the people involved felt about it all?

A word of warning though– you need to keep a balance between dialogue and description but at times simple, concise and to the point description is fine – if it is; no more than a statement connecting events. As with most things in life; too much really is too much.

Particularly when it comes to the description side of “show don’t tell” many of us find it difficult. Sharing your writing with others you trust to be critical but kind often helps – but it must be someone (or someones) whose judgement you respect and value.

And always remember: Balance is Best!

Feature Photo: Castle like, Murten, Switzerland © L.M. Kling 2014

Writing Tips–Structuring Your Story

August 5, 2022 / lmkling / Leave a comment

As with Stonehenge, the elements of a novel need to be placed in just the right place and with the links to make the story work.

Editing—The Structural Edit

It’s suggested that after you complete your first draft that you put the manuscript in a drawer and take a break for weeks or even months and then edit with fresh eyes. Re-read your work and ask yourself the following questions.

Is the manuscript easy to read?
Does it make sense and have a consistent style?
Does the novel start at the right time and place? Avoid starting a novel with a backstory. It’s better to get straight into the narrative.
Are the chapters in the right order?
Eliminate unnecessary repetitions?
Search for contrivances, conveniences and plot holes in your story?
Add tension from the beginning. Ending chapters and scenes with a cliff-hanger, or an intriguing question which will keep the reader engaged.
Make sure the pacing is consistent throughout the book. Start strong, avoid meandering middles and finish strongly.
Look at your setting? Are there enough description of places and people? Have you captured the mood, beliefs, language, and customs of your setting? World building involves research and imagination.
Does each scene or chapter have a designated character’s point of view? Avoid head hopping from one person’s POV to another. It can get confusing. It’s easy to slip into another character’s POV without realising so check this carefully.
Keep characters to a minimum only include those essential to the story. Ask if your characters are well-defined? Do their names suit them? Let the personality and description of the character emerge gradually. Do your character’s change and grow as the story progresses? Does each character have a unique voice so that when they speak, they are easily identified? Are their motivations sensible? Avoid stereotypes such as grumpy old men, silly secretaries etc. Give your characters challenges, quirks and personality.
Research, make sure it is correct and have your sources written down for further reference. Assume all your readers are experts and will get upset with inaccurate information.
Avoid rushing your ending. It can be tempting to summarise at the end of a novel so avoid clarifications and show rather than tell.

Structural editing is the big picture. When you do this edit, don’t worry about correcting spelling, grammar and punctuation. If you need to delete chunks of your work or add more narrative, you will need to do another line edit, anyway. I do the line edit after I make structural changes.

Having readers and critique partners is essential for structural editing. It may be helpful to have a list of questions or even formulate a questionnaire so you get consistent feedback from several readers.

Each element of the structural edit is important and needs to be addressed. Use Google and search for topics such as “Pacing your novel”, “Points of View” or “Character development”. You will uncover an abundance of good advice. Your local library will have books covering writing style and plotting a novel. I wish I had taken more time to learn and develop my writing skills before I wrote my first novel. I’m still learning and growing as a writer and I’m no expert, but that’s what we do at Indie scriptorium: we learn, share and grow.

© Elsie King 2022

Photo from Creative Commons

Writing Tips–Dialogue

July 29, 2022August 12, 2022 / lmkling / Leave a comment

DIALOGUE CAN BE DIFFICULT

Very difficult indeed! But it is essential when you are writing a story. Dialogue develops character, moves the story along and helps paint the picture. When we are speaking (as in conversation) we often fail to use complete sentences and our choice of words depends on a number of factors: our relationship to the other person or persons; the situation at the time and our attitude to that particular situation…

For example, consider the following from an extract from my (unpublished) children’s story, Chaos in the Kingdom:

‘…the sudden explosion of a loud voice from some distance away startled all in the room.

‘What’s this about visitors? Who are they? Anyone know? Where’ve you put ‘em?’

‘Two ladies, sir. In the sitting room, sir.’

‘Know ‘em?’

‘No, sir.’

‘Any idea what they want?’ The voice was much closer now.

‘No, sir. No idea at all.’

‘Well if they’re trying to sell us something, I’ll soon send ‘em packing.’

‘Very good, sir.’

The door was flung open and a large man exuding repressed energy strode into the room. Then stopped short.

There are no names given but it is obvious that these two are in a master/servant relationship; that the master (at least) is male: decisive, possibly intolerant and used to giving orders that are always obeyed. However, the ‘servant’ character is unperturbed by his master’s bossiness; lack of respect and obvious propensity for making assumptions and jumping to conclusions. A great deal of information in only ninety four words!

A bit further along in the story:

“Then he turned towards the tall woman standing nearby. ‘Honoria?’ he queried. She smiled and nodded. ‘Welcome back, old girl. Nice to see you again. No hard feelings, eh?’

‘No,” she said. ‘None whatsoever. It’s good to be back. We’ve had quite an adventurous time of it.’

‘I’ll bet you have. Can’t wait to hear all about it. You haven’t changed a bit, y’know.’

‘From that I take it I looked middle-aged when I was twenty.’ This was said quite tartly.

He glanced piercingly at her for a moment, shrugged slightly, then turned back to Lady Cecilia. ‘Mother, this is marvellous. Absolutely amazing. I’ve got so much to tell you, so much to show you. You’ve got to meet everybody. So many people you don’t know. Place swarming with kids, now – grandchildren everywhere. I say!’

The excited flow stopped suddenly.

‘That means that you are a great-grandmother! How about that?

Lady Cecilia gasped.

‘I never thought…. Oh dear! What a shock!’ She shook her head in disbelief. ‘So you must be a grandfather! I can’t believe that. I really can’t.’

She then turned to the third woman who had been standing by, silent and dumbfounded. ‘My dear, we don’t know each other but we must be family. So please, who are you?’

Before there was time for an answer Cyrus butted in, ‘That’s Celia; Ceddie’s wife. Mother of those two.’ A casual wave of his hand in the direction of Cynthia and Cyrilla implied they were of little account.

‘Now come on, Mother. Let’s show you over the place. See all the changes we’ve made.’

‘Cyrus! Please!’ said Miss Honoria. ‘Your mother needs a rest. We’ve come a long way and are very tired. And please give us a chance to meet all these new people before showing us things and places. Cecilia is an old lady now and…’

‘Honoria, dear, I’m not decrepit!

‘Of course you’re not, dear. But you’re not as strong as you were when we left either. Cyrus has to look after you now.’

‘I’m sure he will, Honoria. Won’t you, dear?’ she said, smiling at the paunchy, somewhat grey headed man she was still finding it hard to believe was her son; superficially so unlike the slim young man with his shock of tousled red hair that she remembered from long ago. Yet the eyes, the smile, the voice and vitality were all still the same.

‘I’m sorry,’ said Cyrus. ‘I didn’t think.’

‘Well that’s something that hasn’t changed,’ murmured Miss Honoria.

He glared at her and the twins nudged each other. They sensed sparks were going to fly and, thrilling at the thought, studied Miss Honoria carefully. They were determined to get to know her, make friends with her.”

This time 455 words; more characters are incorporated and more information about the overbearing, bossy male from the first extract is given. There is somewhat less dialogue but enough to flesh out the picture. We now know his name and have realized that there is at least one person who cannot and will not put up with his thoughtless exuberance, someone from his past.

Dialogue is powerful; as it moves the story along it can show us a great deal about your characters’ personalities. However it is critically important that it does truly reflect each one’s different personality in the words they use; how they put those words together; the rhythm and timing of their speech, even their pronunciation of particular words if that differs markedly from the accepted standard for the time and place you are writing about.

Not always easy. But doable. Have fun!!

Feedback–When Published

July 23, 2022 / lmkling / Leave a comment

Feedback …

When Published

I like to celebrate. As a child, when I received full marks for a spelling test, Dad rewarded me with a Kitchener Bun from the Fish ‘n Chip shop/Bakery which in the good old days of my childhood was situated opposite Glenelg Primary School. Years ago, now, when I used to drive my son his course in Magill, my mum and I treated ourselves to lunch at the local hotel.

Every so often, I check my Amazon account. I wipe off the virtual cobwebs of neglect, and dig deep in the files of my mind, retrieving the password to enter. I expect nothing to have changed.

I’ve been busy with my blog and the rewards, small, though they are, compared to the rest of blogging world, but the steady trickle of views, likes and comments, satisfies me. Over the years, the number of followers has steadily grown.

Once long ago, now, I made a daring move, and posted my short story, Boris’ Choice—not for the faint-hearted or while one eats breakfast…After the post, I checked for results on Amazon with my War on Boris Series books?

And…there were. Yes!

Then, I checked the reviews. Now, I don’t know how other writers have fared with reviews, but for months since I published my books, I had received no reviews. Yes, I asked my readers to do the deed and tick the star-boxes and comment, with no results. Yes, they’d say, and the weeks went by and nothing. Were they just being polite? A little research on comments on Amazon yielded answers. This platform is selective in who can give comments. If they think the author is using friends and family to generate positive, five-star comments, they will not publish those comments. Amazon were onto me, I thought.

Eventually, though, feedback and comments began to trickle in.

Anyway, back to checking the reviews…I looked again at one of the countries one of my books sold. The page appeared different. A yellow bar, and a comment. Genuine feedback. Not a great appraisal, but an appraisal all the same. I knew the person responsible for this first-ever comment for my book but was not surprised at their response. I did wonder at the time how my novella would work for them—not well—just as I imagined when they informed me, they’d bought the book on Kindle. As I said before, Boris and his antics are well…not for everyone.

The point is that trusted readers, friends, writers’ group colleagues need to give honest feedback that helps the writer refine their craft. We as writers need to be open to how we can improve our writing.

But, once the work is on a public platform, feedback has a different purpose. Comments from readers can help sell the work, or help prospective readers determine if the story is for them.

Of course, there’s always the Trolls who get a kick out of making hurtful comments. In Amazon and WordPress there’s an option to screen harmful comments out. And of course, there are people who mean well but the story or genre is not for them.

That being said, and for fear that there will be readers who will misunderstand my works, the over-riding theme of my stories are the classic fight of good against evil. How evil, like Boris, can creep into our lives. And when for whatever reason, usually when we maintain and enhance our self, and to avoid discomfort, we allow evil to stay. This evil, however subtle, will drive us to isolated places in our lives, like Boris does in The Hitch-hiker; places we never wanted to go. I want young adults and people young at heart, to make choices and use their energy for goodness and to fight evil, so they can live a full life and be an agent for good in their community and the world.

Especially currently.

Writing Tips–On Editing

July 15, 2022July 17, 2022 / lmkling / 4 Comments

Step Three–Edit, Edit, Edit.

Your readers want to read the story, to be entertained or informed. They want to finish reading the book with a satisfied smile. If they do that, they may just buy your next novel.

Editing is removing all the mistakes that stop the reader from enjoying your story.

“Assume all your readers are editors.” (Lorena Goldsmith 2013)

You may find that as you write your novel, the words and ideas flow effortlessly. The creative drive is magical. The words fly into your computer or out of your pen and you write and write. (Unless you have writer’s block which we will discuss at another time) I find writing is exhilarating and wonderful. Editing, for me, is far more tedious and definitely much harder.

Editing requires a different mindset from creative writing. I think some people excel at editing. They have the focus to spot the errors and methodically work through a manuscript without getting caught up in the story. If you are like me, I’m good at spotting a few mistakes, but then it all seems to blur, and I get drawn into the story and the editing goes to pot.

Some writers are also exceptional and can write a novel with brilliant flow, use just the right word in the right place, don’t start all their sentences with the same word and make all the myriad bloopers that it’s possible to make. That’s not me–but I’m slowly improving and editing definitely makes me aware of what I’m doing wrong.

It also helps to acknowledge strengths and weaknesses in your writing. I can’t spell and I suck at grammar. I overuse words, adverbs and the passive voice. I often start each sentence with the same word, (as if you didn’t notice) and I make lots of other mistakes. But my strengths are plotting, character development, dialogue, conflict and pacing, and I can write an entertaining story. For me to get my story read and enjoyed I need all the help I can get.

There are three different types of editing:

The structural edit–or the big picture. With this read through, you are looking at the overall construction of the novel or short story. The plot, pacing, setting, points of views, character development, chapter length, use of conflict, cliff hangers and plot holes plus other stuff.

The line or copy edit–which looks at grammar, word usage, spelling, elimination of overused words, elimination of filler words, repetition, sentence length, paragraph starts, incomplete or non-sensible sentences, showing not telling, good dialogue, unnecessary dialogue attributions, cliches, mixed metaphors and poor research, to name a few.

Proof-reading–the final edit which picks up the typos, line spaces and other issues that will disrupt the printing process.

I need the line and proof-reading edits more than the structural. However, I have had good structural feedback from other writers. I have rewritten and changed chapters around. It is a daunting task, but I learnt a lot from the process.

If you struggle with editing, there are also some ways of helping you get your editing cap firmly on your head.

Buy a good reference book and have it on hand at all times. I found Lorena Goldsmith’s Self-Editing Fiction that Sells. (How To Books Ltd. UK 2013) was excellent. I also use the Oxford English–A Guide to the Language compiled by I. C. B. Dear (Guild Publishing 1986). Steven King (yes that Stephen King), swears by William Strunk Jr. The Elements of Style (The Macmillan Company 1959). Stephen King also has a very entertaining informative book, Stephen King-On writing.

(Pocket Books 2002)

I purchased “ProWritingAid”, an online editing program, for $120 a year. I love it, but it takes a while to learn how to use it. Other writers use Grammarly, Scrivener or Hemmingway. I suggest you Google “editing programs for writers” and see what suits you. Many have free trials too. You also have basic editing tools in Microsoft Word.
Find yourself one or two friends who can edit your work if you edit theirs. This person is more than a reader who will give an overall impression of your novel. They will need to have a good idea about what good writing entails. School teachers who specialise in English make talented editors. Give them a red pen and they become eagle eyed warriors for the English language (Bless them)
After I have completed my structural edit, and have had a go at the line editing, I employ a professional. My editor does a wonderful job using track changes in word to make comments and fix my grammar, punctuation, spelling and she’s brilliant at spotting anachronistic words. The cost for an 80,000-word novel is about AU$600 -$800. The cost increases if you supply a rough draft which needs extensive editing.

Thanks to Mary McDee and Lee-Anne Kling for the editing corrections.

Indie Scriptorium — Self Publishing Collective

Helping Each Other Publish

RAISED COMMAS aka “DRATTED APOSTROPHES”

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