Writing for Impact…

February 25, 2024February 25, 2024 / lmkling / Leave a comment

More Than Just Words

All my life, words have fascinated me – their meanings and double meanings, along with puns, jokes, and varied pronunciations. How we put them together for impact; to make poems or stories or paint pictures in a reader’s imagination is grist to my mill, floats my intellectual boat.

So choosing English as a major subject when I got to university was a no-brainer. And when I discovered that Linguistics was one of the third year options, I couldn’t wait to enrol.

Before this, High School Latin had opened my eyes to the fact that languages other than English have very different rules; can be structured differently; are often quite a different kettle of fish. This was amazing! Putting the verb at the end of the sentence? Changing the last syllable of the word instead of using one of the “little words” (e.g: to/for/by/with/from…) as those ancient Romans had done? Wow!!

All this opened up the wide world of translation and how tricky it can be to “get it right”; get the original author’s attitude and intentions across accurately; convey as many as possible, of the subtleties of the original.

Conversations with multi-cultural friends, some of whom were fluent speakers in not just two but several languages were frustrating as these people took all the differences for granted. None shared my passion for words; so they quickly found our “chats” boring. And me weird.

Consequently, I was forced to turn to books in my quest for enlightenment. The only books readily available that provided varied renditions of the original text was the Bible. So I go down all sorts of rabbit holes, spanning several centuries of translations in this adventure.

And after all that long-winded background bumph we come to the point of this blog; a blog designed for those of us who write. Finally I hear you say (if you are still with me, of course!!).

A couple of days ago I read and compared several accounts of the Last Supper; that final, pivotal meal before the crucifixion, that Jesus shared with his disciples; the meal which Judas walked out of to meet with the High Priests and betray him.

Several of the modern translations wound up their account with:

“So Judas left, going out into the night”.

Others (including the King James Version) rendered the same incident as:

“So Judas left. And it was night.”

Only a very small difference – a single sentence of eight letters versus two sentences of seven letters.

But it hit me like a bomb.

The strength and implicit emotion; the sense of impending doom, that that second sentence gave when contrasted with the first was palpable. The first was an accurate but matter-of-fact, almost journalistic rendition. The first, set alongside the heart-wrenching vividness of the second, was just ordinary writing in my eyes.

Of course you may not agree. We all see and interpret things very differently. Which is a good thing; makes life interesting!

When we speak we add to our words with both our voice and our facial expressions, as well as gesture, stance… There are a hundred and one ways of getting our meaning across as we become aware of responses from those to whom we are speaking. There is an immediacy in the spoken that is not available in the written. So we have to compensate.

As writers, we need to develop awareness of those aspects of writing that are more than merely putting words together. This is what divides great writing from the simply pedestrian. How those words are arranged, organized, juxtaposed one with the other is important. How our words are divided into sentences and punctuated can make a huge difference to how we get our message across to the reader. These are the things that make our writing truly impactful.

And isn’t this what we all want?

© Mary McDee 2024

Feature photo: Le Mont St. Michel, Dining Room, a room reminiscent of Christ’s Last Supper © L.M. Kling 1998

Effective Writing–Make it Zing

October 1, 2022October 2, 2022 / lmkling / Leave a comment

Make your writing Zing!

I’m writing my third novel and still learning. Making my writing more dynamic and engaging is one skill I’m trying to develop. I’ve known while some scenes are full of emotion and action, other parts of my draft tend to wither into bland backstory or boring prose. I need to make my writing Zing.

The rule of “show not tell” is one of the writing rules churned out to fix boring writing. But what do we mean by showing, not telling?

I interpret showing as progressing the storyline by having my character storm around the scene with white lips, beating heart, clenched fists, and flashing eyes. They might be overcome by the smell of roses and hear the plaintive warble of a magpie. Yes, it’s all about the senses. Oh, don’t forget taste, she says with a mouthful of ashes.

Telling is informing your reader that your character is angry, smelt roses, heard a magpie, and has halitosis. Not really Zingy.

I entered a competition with my second novel and received lovely feedback from most of the judges. One judge, however, was less complimentary and hated much of what I had written. Gosh, that hurt. Despite all the warm fuzzy praise, I took the negative critique to heart, then dismissed it. After all, the other judges liked what I had written, and I got into the finals. But after I got over the elation, I took out the negative critique and with trembling hands read the judgement again.

They were right. There was critique I discarded; I honestly felt they were looking for a traditional romantic story and my novel didn’t fit the bill. But their critique of my prose was insightful and confronting and right. I will illustrate this using the actual paragraph the judge picked out to illustrate his/her point.

My line— “Eleanor had more energy and a new zest for life.”

Judges’ line— “Energy sizzled inside her, driving her to paint. Oh, how wonderful it was to pick up a brush and apply paint to a canvas again. Now that she’s accepted the facts, her life had become much better and full of zest.”

The judge’s line is full of Zing. It goes inside Eleanor, makes her feel the energy, expresses her joy, and put her emotion into the action of painting. She actively accepts that she cannot have a child, and acceptance improves her mood and energy.

I believe changing my writing style to make it Zing will require practice. I am writing a first draft of my third novel and have decided that just getting the story down is my priority. But enlivening my prose will take second priority. I will add another layer of editing with the express purpose of Zinging my prose.

Another technique for adding Zing is to use dialogue. Have characters, explain things, pontificate, console, complain, fight, disclose, advise, snub, berate order, and entice. Conversations are fun and show your character’s motivations, desires, beliefs, and points of view. They can also show how a character learns something, amends their belief, and grows as a character. Using secondary characters, friendly or not, will help your character interact and make your writing Zing. Have a look at Agatha Christie, for a masterful example of storytelling using dialogue

Sandy Vaile in her article Clarify, ‘showing for good’ provides excellent advice about aspects of active story telling. I found her ideas about placing characters in challenging situations edifying. If I’m writing a dramatic scene with action my writing Zings, my prose is stronger, and the words flow. But not all my scenes have an elevated level of conflict. In the future, I will plot more scenes with conflict. The conflict could be an internal battle with a problem or emotions or an external conflict with another person or situation but making life difficult for heroes and heroines is my new goal.

Another way to make your writing Zing is to make sure each sentence is active. I’m the queen of the passive voice but I came across a great explanation for active and passive sentences in Sandy Vaile’s’ article. Sandy states you should put the action first and the subject second and gives wonderful examples.

Passive–Tina’s homework was marked in red pen by Mrs. Gleeson. (The subject before the verb/action)

Active–Mrs. Gleeson marked Tina’s homework with a red pen. (The verb/action before the subject)

Passive–The burglar was tackled by the detective.

Active–The detective tackled the burglar.

I’m still learning about active prose. As I’m writing my first draft, some days the words flow and some days they don’t and that is often because of the setting of the scene. Planning more active and challenging situations in my plotting, adding secondary characters who engage my protagonist in active dialogue and making my characters use their senses are all techniques to master. Getting the passive/active voice is also a challenge.

Happy writing.

***

Acknowledgements

Sandy Vaile. Clarify ‘showing for good’ Romance Writers of Australia Hearts Talk August 2022.

Sandy Vaile is a motorbike-riding daredevil who writes romantic-suspense for Simon & Schuster US and supports fiction authors to produce novels they are proud to share with the world (and which get noticed by agents and publishers), through coaching, craft workshops and developmental editing.

Connect with

Sandy Vaile

www.linktr.ee/fearlessprose

© Elsie King 2022

Feature Photo: A Difficult Environment © L.C. Wong

Grammar Made Easy–Apostrophes

September 17, 2022September 17, 2022 / lmkling / Leave a comment

RAISED COMMAS aka “DRATTED APOSTROPHES”

These little things seem to cause more angst, confusion and errors than any other feature of our written language. There is even a move afoot to eliminate them altogether. Which would be tragic as they play a critical role in clarifying meaning. By way of demonstration, can you decode the precise meaning of each of the following phrases:

1. The dog’s collar;

2. The dogs’ collars;

3. The dog’s collars;

4. The dogs’ collar.

Three words; the only differences being that two of the final words end in ‘s’ and also the position of the apostrophe. Yet each of those four has a very different meaning and, lacking that little squiggle, the meaning would be, not only obscure, but impossible to work out. Context could help of course but not necessarily. Why make life harder than it need be?

Let’s see if I can clarify the issue. Apostrophes have one job to do, and one only. Part of the confusion lies in the fact that this one job has two different aspects to it.

The one job is that it indicates something has been left out so therefore it is a form of abbreviation.

This happens when we turn speech into writing. When speaking we tend to hurry things along a bit – it’s much easier to say can’t and didn’t than cannot and did not. Used in this way our squiggle is termed an “Apostrophe of Contraction” because we have left out, not only the space between two words, but one or more of the sounds and therefore, the letters that represent those sounds, when we put it into writing.

The second instance is called the “Apostrophe of Possession” and is somewhat more complex. But not impossible as there is a rule you can follow that simplifies things beautifully. Before we get onto this “rule” let’s sort out just what is left out though.

Possession means someone or something belongs to someone or something; alternatively there is an owner and who or what is owned by that owner. Thus it always involves two naming words (i.e. nouns in grammar speak). For instance “Jane’s brooch” tells us that Jane owns the brooch; the brooch belongs to Jane. Thus it is the words denoting ownership that have been omitted.

Well then, what is this rule that is going to simplify things?

Take a deep breath and follow the steps:

1. Work out who or what is the owner and what is being owned.

2. Write down the name of the owner and nothing else. If it is a person then the name is easy but if it happens to be more than one thing (e.g. a couple of dogs; a herd of cows; a fleet of yachts…) the owner is plural so that is what you must write down.

3. Add the apostrophe.

4. Say the phrase aloud (owner and what it is that belongs to that owner) listening carefully. If you hear yourself saying “s” (or an extra “s” if the owner’s name happens to end in “s”) on the end of the owner then add it.

5. Write down what is owned.

Done! And done correctly.

The result can, on occasion look quite bizarre. By way of example consider the following: A visitor arrives, is welcomed and asked to take a seat; heads for a comfortable looking chair but host says, “Sorry, please don’t sit there. That’s puss’s chair”. Go through the steps and you’ll see this is grammatically correct, both spoken and written

Were you able to sort out the dogs and collars puzzle I gave you in the beginning?

If not, here is the solution:

1. The dog’s collar (one dog and one collar – presumably that collar belongs to that dog).

2. The dogs’ collars (several dogs each with its own collar).

3. The dog’s collars (obviously a pampered pooch with a whole wardrobe of collars!!).

4. The dogs’ collar (possibly a succession of family dogs with the same collar serving several generations. Or maybe – sad to say – several dogs having to share the same collar!!).

© Mary McDee 2022

Feature Photo: The Dogs’ Collars © L.M. Kling 2013

Writing Tips–Copy Editing

August 27, 2022 / lmkling / Leave a comment

Editing—Copy Editing

This edit is most effective when you have finished the structural edit and are satisfied that your story reads, flows well, and makes sense.

Copy editing, also called “line editing” or “content editing”, means that you go through your manuscript line by line to make sure each sentence and paragraph zing.

I find copy editing difficult. I just don’t see the grammar and spelling errors and lose focus quickly. Knowing your weakness as a writer is important and I use whatever help I can to line edit my work.

Lorena Goldsmith suggests you don’t edit from the beginning of your manuscript and work through to the end as you will get caught up in the story and the last chapters tend to suffer as you rush to finish. She advises that skipping around the manuscript is more helpful. Select several pages for editing, then skip to another part of the book and select the next lot of pages. This helps you stay focussed and ensures consistency.

I do multiple edits, each with a different focus. I might edit looking for contractions and adverbs in one edit, and then look at sentence length and overuse of words. Editing for me is a tedious process, but others love it and are geniuses at spotting mistakes. Give them a red pen and they edit like tigers. Revere and reward these people.

Cheating or not, I also use technology. Microsoft Word has a good basic spelling and grammar check and thesaurus. I also use a program called ProWritingAid, which has multiple checks and reviews for the editing impaired. I also pay a professional editor who hones my words into the final draft for proof-reading.

The following is a checklist of things to look for when editing. It’s not definitive.

Have I used the right word/s. Is the meaning clear? Replace a word with a stronger word.
Remove weak/or excessive verbs and adverbs. E.g., He walked quickly, replace with He marched. She spoke gently, replaced by she leaned over and whispered.
Eliminate filler words (for example: just, really, very, that, even.)
Is the selected word in the right mood for the sentence/scene?
Look at word usage. Everyday words are easy to read and understand and don’t stop the flow for the reader. Mix up words, use a thesaurus to find the right word for your line.
Is the word politically correct?
Look for long sentences.
Does the sentence make sense?
Is the paragraph too long?
Are you explaining things too much and repeating information unnecessarily?
Do paragraphs start with the same word, the same style? Mix up your beginnings.
Show not tell. Don’t say “He was nervous” use sweat made him cold as the biting wind cut the air from around him.
Avoid describing emotions. Instead, write a description of your character that incorporates what they smell, hear, feel, see, and touch in their situation that conveys the emotion.
Dialogue–does it flow naturally? Use contractions, e.g. I will to I’ll, as this makes the dialogue more realistic. Does each character have their own voice? Remove unnecessary dialogue, such as “Hello, how are you?” “Yes, good thank you.” It’s just boring. The dialogue should be relevant and move the story along, so make it snappy.
Reduce dialogue attributions. “Where are you going Jim?” Jane asked. Unnecessary, if only Jane and Jim are in the scene.
Look out for cliches. Make metaphors and similes unique and interesting.

After completing your structural and line edit, give it a read. If it’s easily read, tight, well-paced and without obvious bloopers, send it to a professional editor or a competent astute fellow writer. Make amendments, and then it’s ready for the “Proof reading” edit and formatting.

Reference: Lorena Goldsmith-Self Editing Fiction that Sells. (How to Book Ltd. UK-2013)

Photo provided by Creative Commons

Happy editing from Elsie King ©August 27^th, 2022

Writing Tips–SdT

August 12, 2022August 12, 2022 / lmkling / Leave a comment

“SDT” is IMPORTANT—But what on earth is “SDT”?

We writers are told that we should concentrate on “show don’t Tell” in order to ensure our work is powerful and appealing to the reader. But what does this actually mean?

For many of us our Primary schooling years included sessions of “show and tell”. This always involved carting along some object we thought might interest others then standing up in front of the class and talking about it. If we did this well we received accolades that made us swell with pride; it was great and did our egos no end of good. “Show and tell” involved both an object and a talk. Neither of which has much connection with writing, does it?

Show don’t Tell is a very different kettle of fish. What does it mean – exactly? And how on earth do we achieve it?

The thing to realise is that there are actually two facets to this problem. The first is dialogue which we talked about last week. The second, for want of a better word, is “description”. This is the prose that links the dialogue bits together; the bits that can’t be covered by dialogue.

If we think of film, TV or the theatre, there is a lot of speaking (dialogue) but equally important is the acting; the movement, the expression on the face, the tone of voice… This is true whether it is Shakespeare, a sitcom or the worst sort of crass commercial. Both are essential to move the story along and maintain the interest of the viewer.

Even in radio where the visual has been eliminated there is much more than simply talk – music, sound effects (water dripping or waves crashing; cars racing; planes taking off; screams; laughter…). Dialogue is important. But only part of the deal. When we are writing “description” is the equivalent of acting and sound effects.

By way of illustration, compare the following two accounts of the same event, an excerpt from my (unpublished) children’s story, Chaos in the Kingdom:

“Lady Cecilia was exhausted but could not fall asleep. She was so worried about what had happened yesterday; how she’d realised what was causing all the trouble in the household. She held herself responsible. She tossed and turned all night then finally fell asleep as the sun rose.

It was late when she woke up and for a short while enjoyed being in her own room again; back with her own family. When she thought of the family she remembered how upset she’d been and got out of bed, put on her dressing gown and hurried downstairs. Miss Honoria met her in the hall, saw something was wrong so ordered tea and toast then took her outside to sit in the garden. She tried to calm her even though she had no idea what the matter was but her efforts were not much good.”

Now for the second version of the same incident:

Meanwhile, in a bedroom back at the castle the Lady Cecilia, despite feeling exhausted, was unable to drift into peaceful slumber as she had done so easily every night since returning home. She tossed and turned, fussed and fretted, switched on the light and tried to read but gave up, unable to make any sense of all the black marks on the pages. She longed for the night to end then finally, just as dawn began to break, fell into a troubled slumber.

When she woke it was late in the morning. She stretched luxuriously, smiling to herself as she did every morning at the delicious pleasure of awakening in her own bed in her own room in her own home with her own family all around her. Her family!

Memory flooded in. Dismay overcame her. She tumbled from the bed, thrust her feet into slippers and, seizing her robe, struggled to don it as she left the room and hurried downstairs. Miss Honoria met her in the hall and, taking one look at her, hastily ordered tea and toast then shepherded her out into the warmth and fresh air of a sunshiny day. Comfortable garden seats in a sheltered spot were nearby and she was soon installed in one. Miss Honoria murmured soothing nothings as Lady Cecilia wrung her hands and kept moaning, ‘How could I? Oh, how could I? I’m so silly. How could I have done that?’

Did you enjoy reading one more than the other? Can you work out why?

Which one gave you the clearer picture of what happened and what the people involved felt about it all?

A word of warning though– you need to keep a balance between dialogue and description but at times simple, concise and to the point description is fine – if it is; no more than a statement connecting events. As with most things in life; too much really is too much.

Particularly when it comes to the description side of “show don’t tell” many of us find it difficult. Sharing your writing with others you trust to be critical but kind often helps – but it must be someone (or someones) whose judgement you respect and value.

And always remember: Balance is Best!

Feature Photo: Castle like, Murten, Switzerland © L.M. Kling 2014

Feedback–When Published

July 23, 2022 / lmkling / Leave a comment

Feedback …

When Published

I like to celebrate. As a child, when I received full marks for a spelling test, Dad rewarded me with a Kitchener Bun from the Fish ‘n Chip shop/Bakery which in the good old days of my childhood was situated opposite Glenelg Primary School. Years ago, now, when I used to drive my son his course in Magill, my mum and I treated ourselves to lunch at the local hotel.

Every so often, I check my Amazon account. I wipe off the virtual cobwebs of neglect, and dig deep in the files of my mind, retrieving the password to enter. I expect nothing to have changed.

I’ve been busy with my blog and the rewards, small, though they are, compared to the rest of blogging world, but the steady trickle of views, likes and comments, satisfies me. Over the years, the number of followers has steadily grown.

Once long ago, now, I made a daring move, and posted my short story, Boris’ Choice—not for the faint-hearted or while one eats breakfast…After the post, I checked for results on Amazon with my War on Boris Series books?

And…there were. Yes!

Then, I checked the reviews. Now, I don’t know how other writers have fared with reviews, but for months since I published my books, I had received no reviews. Yes, I asked my readers to do the deed and tick the star-boxes and comment, with no results. Yes, they’d say, and the weeks went by and nothing. Were they just being polite? A little research on comments on Amazon yielded answers. This platform is selective in who can give comments. If they think the author is using friends and family to generate positive, five-star comments, they will not publish those comments. Amazon were onto me, I thought.

Eventually, though, feedback and comments began to trickle in.

Anyway, back to checking the reviews…I looked again at one of the countries one of my books sold. The page appeared different. A yellow bar, and a comment. Genuine feedback. Not a great appraisal, but an appraisal all the same. I knew the person responsible for this first-ever comment for my book but was not surprised at their response. I did wonder at the time how my novella would work for them—not well—just as I imagined when they informed me, they’d bought the book on Kindle. As I said before, Boris and his antics are well…not for everyone.

The point is that trusted readers, friends, writers’ group colleagues need to give honest feedback that helps the writer refine their craft. We as writers need to be open to how we can improve our writing.

But, once the work is on a public platform, feedback has a different purpose. Comments from readers can help sell the work, or help prospective readers determine if the story is for them.

Of course, there’s always the Trolls who get a kick out of making hurtful comments. In Amazon and WordPress there’s an option to screen harmful comments out. And of course, there are people who mean well but the story or genre is not for them.

That being said, and for fear that there will be readers who will misunderstand my works, the over-riding theme of my stories are the classic fight of good against evil. How evil, like Boris, can creep into our lives. And when for whatever reason, usually when we maintain and enhance our self, and to avoid discomfort, we allow evil to stay. This evil, however subtle, will drive us to isolated places in our lives, like Boris does in The Hitch-hiker; places we never wanted to go. I want young adults and people young at heart, to make choices and use their energy for goodness and to fight evil, so they can live a full life and be an agent for good in their community and the world.

Especially currently.

Writing Tips–On Editing

July 15, 2022July 17, 2022 / lmkling / 4 Comments

Step Three–Edit, Edit, Edit.

Your readers want to read the story, to be entertained or informed. They want to finish reading the book with a satisfied smile. If they do that, they may just buy your next novel.

Editing is removing all the mistakes that stop the reader from enjoying your story.

“Assume all your readers are editors.” (Lorena Goldsmith 2013)

You may find that as you write your novel, the words and ideas flow effortlessly. The creative drive is magical. The words fly into your computer or out of your pen and you write and write. (Unless you have writer’s block which we will discuss at another time) I find writing is exhilarating and wonderful. Editing, for me, is far more tedious and definitely much harder.

Editing requires a different mindset from creative writing. I think some people excel at editing. They have the focus to spot the errors and methodically work through a manuscript without getting caught up in the story. If you are like me, I’m good at spotting a few mistakes, but then it all seems to blur, and I get drawn into the story and the editing goes to pot.

Some writers are also exceptional and can write a novel with brilliant flow, use just the right word in the right place, don’t start all their sentences with the same word and make all the myriad bloopers that it’s possible to make. That’s not me–but I’m slowly improving and editing definitely makes me aware of what I’m doing wrong.

It also helps to acknowledge strengths and weaknesses in your writing. I can’t spell and I suck at grammar. I overuse words, adverbs and the passive voice. I often start each sentence with the same word, (as if you didn’t notice) and I make lots of other mistakes. But my strengths are plotting, character development, dialogue, conflict and pacing, and I can write an entertaining story. For me to get my story read and enjoyed I need all the help I can get.

There are three different types of editing:

The structural edit–or the big picture. With this read through, you are looking at the overall construction of the novel or short story. The plot, pacing, setting, points of views, character development, chapter length, use of conflict, cliff hangers and plot holes plus other stuff.

The line or copy edit–which looks at grammar, word usage, spelling, elimination of overused words, elimination of filler words, repetition, sentence length, paragraph starts, incomplete or non-sensible sentences, showing not telling, good dialogue, unnecessary dialogue attributions, cliches, mixed metaphors and poor research, to name a few.

Proof-reading–the final edit which picks up the typos, line spaces and other issues that will disrupt the printing process.

I need the line and proof-reading edits more than the structural. However, I have had good structural feedback from other writers. I have rewritten and changed chapters around. It is a daunting task, but I learnt a lot from the process.

If you struggle with editing, there are also some ways of helping you get your editing cap firmly on your head.

Buy a good reference book and have it on hand at all times. I found Lorena Goldsmith’s Self-Editing Fiction that Sells. (How To Books Ltd. UK 2013) was excellent. I also use the Oxford English–A Guide to the Language compiled by I. C. B. Dear (Guild Publishing 1986). Steven King (yes that Stephen King), swears by William Strunk Jr. The Elements of Style (The Macmillan Company 1959). Stephen King also has a very entertaining informative book, Stephen King-On writing.

(Pocket Books 2002)

I purchased “ProWritingAid”, an online editing program, for $120 a year. I love it, but it takes a while to learn how to use it. Other writers use Grammarly, Scrivener or Hemmingway. I suggest you Google “editing programs for writers” and see what suits you. Many have free trials too. You also have basic editing tools in Microsoft Word.
Find yourself one or two friends who can edit your work if you edit theirs. This person is more than a reader who will give an overall impression of your novel. They will need to have a good idea about what good writing entails. School teachers who specialise in English make talented editors. Give them a red pen and they become eagle eyed warriors for the English language (Bless them)
After I have completed my structural edit, and have had a go at the line editing, I employ a professional. My editor does a wonderful job using track changes in word to make comments and fix my grammar, punctuation, spelling and she’s brilliant at spotting anachronistic words. The cost for an 80,000-word novel is about AU$600 -$800. The cost increases if you supply a rough draft which needs extensive editing.

Thanks to Mary McDee and Lee-Anne Kling for the editing corrections.

Writing Tips–Feedback

June 25, 2022July 20, 2022 / lmkling / 2 Comments

How to Give Feedback

Embarrassing situations, we’ve all had them. And if we were to be honest, how often feedback, the proverbial “being called out”, or the reverse, the lack of feedback, lurks behind those uncomfortable circumstances.

Feedback, love it or hate it, you can’t live without it. We all have blind spots, secrets in our psyche that not even we are aware of. This is especially true with our writing; we are too close to our work to see the spelling and grammar errors or gaping holes in our story’s plot.

An embarrassing episode often involves an exposition of one of our blind spots where feedback plays a part. For instance, walking around all day at the office with your fly undone and the absence of feedback makes the realisation of the fact so much more embarrassing. If only someone was brave enough to point out your state of undress.

So, the point: Feedback is important for your health, well-being, and growth as a person. And feedback is important for honing your craft of writing. In this article, I’ll focus on giving feedback for writers, but we can use it in most life, art, and work situations.

The way a person gives feedback is vital, which is why we tend to avoid it and avoid giving it truthfully. Nobody wants to be the “Arnold J. Rimmer” in the television series Red Dwarf, who has to tell “Dave Lister” that he has absolutely no talent when it comes to playing the guitar, even though Dave loves playing the guitar and thinks he’s a star. And of course, Rimmer being Arnold J Rimmer, enjoys putting Dave Lister down. I think most of us would admit to leaving honest feedback up to someone else at times for fear of causing embarrassment.

But if we want our writing to improve and our writers’ community to be more than a mutual admiration society, then we need to learn to tackle the skill of giving feedback in a way that makes the recipient feel validated and safe.

So how do we give helpful feedback?

We want our communities, whether it be a writers’ group or other sorts of groups, to be safe places where participants can be themselves, share who they are and excel in their endeavours. So below are examples of feedback that builds up the person and us as writers:

Helpful Feedback

1. Honest and open, given while caring for the recipient’s worth and dignity.
2. Positive—keep tone light and pleasant. We can improve our delivery of feedback when we look for what in the work has been effective and how it can be better. No creative work is a “disaster” that must be torn up and burnt, just as no person is so unworthy that they’re not worth the effort of redemption. However, if the work denigrates another, the writer needs feedback to proceed with caution or risk losing that member to the group, or even litigation down the track.
3. Feedback sandwich—following on from above, the positive—improvement—positive comment approach is an effective way to keep the recipient happy about improvements that they might need to do to their work.
4. Specific—name and highlight specific, good points or improvement needs. “Good,” “excellent” and “I enjoyed it” mean nothing. Requires giving those presenting their work your undivided attention, listening, also having valued the recipient to give a thoughtful response.
5. Humour—if done with respect, can help the recipient manage difficult to manage feedback. e.g., ‘You can’t speak with sparkling eyes’ or ‘Words are your friends.’
6. Role-modelling—showing how an effective piece of work looks/sounds/reads.
7. General address—teaching on a common foible that has arisen in a number of works. e.g., ‘Today we are going to have a look at showing rather than telling,’ the mentor said.
8. An example—like role-modelling where an editor or a more experienced writer may rewrite a first chapter to show how to improve a work. (With the recipient’s consent, of course.)
9. Showing rather than telling — ‘Shall I stop there?’ asks Heinz. ‘No, no, keep going,’ we all say.
10. Genuine Interest — asking how the work is progressing and listening to the writer’s plots, plans and characters, and the like, shows that you value them as a person and their work.
11. Right place — a quiet, safe place with minimal distractions. e.g., Writers’ group.
12. Good timing — no use giving feedback when there are distractions for the recipient.
13. Right voice — keep your tone even, audible, and confident.

Conclusion: When we give feedback with respect valuing the person and their creative endeavour, we help them grow and their work to flourish. What’s more, when we cooperate with each other giving helpful feedback, not only do we have an excellent group that people want to join, but the quality of our product far surpasses what we would’ve had if we keep our writings to ourselves and never seek feedback. At the end of the day, would we want to publish a work that would embarrass us?

Indie Scriptorium — Self Publishing Collective

Helping Each Other Publish

effective writing

More Than Just Words

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Make your writing Zing!

Acknowledgements

Sandy Vaile. Clarify ‘showing for good’ Romance Writers of Australia Hearts Talk August 2022.

Sandy Vaile is a motorbike-riding daredevil who writes romantic-suspense for Simon & Schuster US and supports fiction authors to produce novels they are proud to share with the world (and which get noticed by agents and publishers), through coaching, craft workshops and developmental editing.

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Sandy Vaile

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