good writing | Indie Scriptorium — Self Publishing Collective

Showing and Telling

“Don’t tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass.”

–Anton Chekhov

The pictures in an exhibition do not come with a detailed written description. You don’t get paragraphs telling the viewer what the subject matter is, what colours are used and why, what time of day the painting depicts the theme, composition or the medium used. The pictures show all that information. The little accompanying tag tells you the essentials—title, medium, artist name and price. That’s all you need.

In creative writing we use both showing and telling. But what does showing mean? What is telling? How do you differentiate when to show and when to tell? It can be tricky to sort it out, but these are my ideas.

Telling enables the author to provide quick, factual information. It may be important, but you don’t need to go into the information in any depth. It can move a story along efficiently. It’s like the painting tag, brief, factual but essential information. Telling may move the reader to another time, another place, mention the weather, comment on a relationship but it is briefly mentioned. Nothing is happening in the time or place that requires delving into the character or the story.

Telling examples: Twenty years later she found herself back in Rome.

It was a hot night.

He got married twice before he met the love of his life.

Showing is like painting a picture. It gets the reader to look deeply at a scene, often through the characters perspective, thoughts and dialogue. It delves into the character and situation and stirs the heart. It is slower and richer. Showing is the writer’s device to enter into the character, to use their senses, thoughts and emotions. It creates drama and provokes emotions and wonder in the reader.

Some examples:

Rome, the heat was cruel, the smell of dust and onions spiced the air. Nothing had changed in twenty years except there were more people on the streets and the noise of traffic roared in the background. Brenda sniffed, felt the baking, rough stone beneath her fingers. “Hello Rome, I’m back.” She laughed and remembered. I wonder if he’s still alive.

Heat wept from the night sky.

Robert’s heart actually pounded. He was too old for this. She looked like an angel her white hair long, lush and thick, her eyes deep pools of love. Her body strained towards him. I don’t deserve her. He turned to his son with a grin. “I should have bought a dog thirty years ago. Loyal, loving and much cheaper than two wives.”

The balance of showing and telling is something that I hadn’t considered prior to this blog. When you think of it, it should be easy. You show when you write an important dramatic scene but tell when you want to move your story to the next dramatic scene. But too much drama can be overwhelming while too much telling slows the story down and distances the reader.

You also must think about if you want the reader to be moved by what you are writing. Some subject matter is so dramatic it’s better to distance the reader by just telling events.

I’m currently working on a story which is about the very emotive subject of abortion. I’ve written it using more telling than showing and I think this works as it steps the reader back from what may cause distress or anger. The following paragraphs I hope illustrate my technique. The telling is in bold script.

Mavis finished feeding the baby, changed his wet nappy and swaddled him in his blanket. He looked at her with trusting dark blue eyes, his skin a golden colour his little fists fighting to get free of the blanket. But milk, comfort and gentle rocking made wakefulness futile. Mavis tucked him back into the cardboard box and pondered who to contact first.

Abandonment became a movement. The papers took sides. The right-wing journalists condemned the mothers of the children. The left -wing journalists blamed the right for life movement and evangelical churches. The airways rang with strident arguments and the police and social services complained of a lack of resources and put out regular appeals for more funding and foster carers.

“What’s happening to the babies, Caroline?” Mavis asked as she handed over another child from the front porch of an old Congregational Church. She now knew the names of many of the police officers, paramedics, nurses and social workers.

“Oh, Mavis” the woman’s eyes welled with tears. “We can’t get any more foster carers and the adoption process is, well it’s slow because they have to check everything before they can do a legal adoption. It’s a mess, and the entire system is overwhelmed. Lots of these babies have special needs and we can’t get them in with foster parents anyway. They couldn’t cope. We’ve had to open up orphanages and even that isn’t working. These babies need a mom and dad. They don’t do well if they don’t have cuddles and attention. It’s so sad.”

Mavis remembered seeing pictures of abandoned orphans in Russia or was it Romania? Remembered sunken sad eyes, skeletal bodies covered in sores. She felt her heart pound and her stomach clench. Her doctor said it was anxiety, but Mavis knew it for what it was, guilt. They had demanded the abolition of abortion and that was causing this horrible dilemma. They had saved the unborn, but the living children were suffering.

I hope this give other writers some ideas about showing and telling. I am considering doing the above exercise on my writing as another editing technique. It certainly makes you aware of when you are showing and when you are telling and what balance is required for the piece of writing.

Hope you get something out of this too.

The following references were used for this blog. They go into this topic in detail and provide fitting examples and explanations.

Jericho Writers – Show don’t Tell: What it means and why it matters – Henry Bingham (no date provided)
Writers write – How to master “Show don’t Tell” – Kyle A. Massa 2023
Pro-writing aid – “Show don’t tell” in Creative Writing – Sean Glatch 2022

Indie Scriptorium—What does it take to become a writer?

Chatting with my new, and delightfully talented, hairdresser, the conversation flowed to my writing aspirations; to get my first novel self-published by August this year.

“Oh, I’ve always wanted to write.” she said.

Many people want to write. Their family history, memoirs, self-help books, picture books for children, cookbooks, books about their interests, passions and creative short stories, poetry and novels. But where do you start?

Indie Scriptorium has been a revelation. What do you need to know to become a published author? What are the steps required? In Indie Scriptorium, we have identified, and are currently collating information that we hope our readers and members will find helpful. But I will start at the beginning.

Step One – Writing for yourself.

Pick up a pen, find some paper and write. Start with a paragraph and then try to set some time aside every day to write some more. Don’t judge your work, just write. If this is rewarding and addictive, you’re on your way to becoming a writer.

Writing for yourself can be rewarding. Keeping a diary of your thoughts and activities, describing events you’ve attended, people you’ve met and places you visit is a record of your life. Jotting down recipes in a book with your impressions of the meal builds up into a great cookbook. Letters to friends and relatives can be enjoyable to write and lovely to receive. They provide wonderful memories and may be helpful to family members interested in genealogy down the track.

Writing can be therapeutic. A way to express your feelings in a safe way. You may be angry or disappointed with someone you love, but can’t tell them. Write it down and get it out of your system. I find this can help define my emotions and sort out what happened.

Even if you are writing for yourself, you can choose to improve your writing skills. A good dictionary and thesaurus are a good idea. If you have a computer, try writing using the Word program. It has a built-in spell checker and thesaurus. There are also books and magazine you can buy or borrow from libraries and if you google improving your writing skills, you will find a plethora of ideas and exercises.

But it doesn’t matter. If you choose to write for yourself, and you alone, what you write and how you write it is entirely your choice. So just write and enjoy.

Tune in for Step 2 -Writing to be read -to be posted 16th June 22

Showing and Telling

“Don’t tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass.”

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Indie Scriptorium—What does it take to become a writer?

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