PoV | Indie Scriptorium — Self Publishing Collective

Deep Point of View

The track was steep and bumpy. It shook his bike, made braking hard on the sharp corners. His eyes watered, his heart thundered. He felt like laughing but had to focus. He’s hadn’t felt this scared since he fell off his first two-wheeler.

Teeth clenched, bones shaken as the bike bucked and slid over rocks. It was impossible to brake, too fast, too hard. The ground tore past, blurred by speed. Cold wind whipped tears into his eyes. Hands curled around the handlebars as if they could be a lifeline. Focus, focus, focus. Blood thundered in ears, sweat sprang and got whipped away. Laughter bubbled and was swallowed. Fear evoked the four-year-old’s memory. Falling, pain, blood and Dad saying. “Get back on. You can do this.”

Above are two attempts at describing the same event. In the first I’ve used pronouns, he, his, he felt. This is me as the writer intruding, describing the action. I’ve also said he felt scared, telling not showing the fear. This is third person subjective.

In the second I’ve got rid of the pronouns, added more sensory information to illustrate fear, added internal dialogue and provided a detailed memory. It required more words but gives a deeper experience for the reader. This is third person subjective deep point of view. (Also known as 3rd person limited or 3rd person close)

Using Deep Point of View (Deep PoV) is a writing style that has become increasingly popular in the past two to three decades. It is tricky to understand, and I’ve found requires a lot of study and practice. The idea is that you tell your story from the perspective of the character, that the story emerges through their experience which includes what they see, hear, feel, taste and smell. Add some thoughts, opinions and memories and then remove the narrator’s voice, (he felt, he thought, she wondered, she saw.)

Changing your natural writing style is challenging work but I think adopting deep PoV can make the writing zing and allows the reader to engage more closely with the characters. But do I need to use deep PoV all the time and for all my characters?

I write Historical novels set in the Regency era. The writing style of authors such as Jane Austin, Charlotte Bronte and Charles Dickens use third person, but the narrator is always popping in with observations and opinions. I want my own novels to reflect the writing style of the era in which they are set but I also like to adopt the modern deeper point of view. It’s a challenge.

Having done some reading into this complex topic I have come to a set of rules that work for me as a writer. It’s a work in progress; I am learning new things all the time and making adjustments, but I thought it might help people if I share my guidelines.

Use deep PoV for major characters. Minor characters don’t need deep PoV, but it could be fun to give the baddie a deep PoV.
Deep PoV can be exhausting. Use it sparingly for pivotal moments in your plot.
Start each scene with deep PoV.
Use deep PoV mostly in the first third of your book. Less is required as the pacing/suspense increases and the readers are hooked into the characters.
Don’t head hop between characters. One deep PoV per chapter or scene.
Use the character’s thoughts, actions, memories, opinions in both internal and spoken dialogue. Emotions are better conveyed by actions and dialogue than described. (show don’t tell)
Use the five senses to give readers a clear picture of the scene from the characters perspective.
Use vivid language (find more interesting words in your thesaurus) and active voice. (I use a soft-ware editing program to highlight passive voice for removal)

These are my recommendations. They will not suit everyone, and they are a work in progress. My idea is that I write the first draft of my novel/short story and select the character who will be the PoV character for the scene/chapter but not focus on creating the deep PoV until I’ve done a structural edit. I will then do an editing sweep looking at strengthening the sensory input, opinions, thoughts, memories and actions in strategic scenes in the book.

Points of view is a complex topic. I found the following articles and books helpful.

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-write-deep-pov
https://thewritepractice.com/deep-pov/
https://theeditorsblog.net/2011/11/16/deep-pov-whats-so-deep-about-it/

I also used Richard Bradburn’s book Self-Editing for Self-Publishers, Reen Publishing 2020

I’m still finding my way with PoV. I don’t head hop as much, but I can’t say that I am deeply conscious of using deep PoV as I write my first draft, but it’s an effective and powerful tool for introducing new characters. For me it works for one or two characters in a novel and is valuable to use in highly emotive, pivotal scenes. I do enjoy giving my character’s opinions and internal dialogue as it brings the reader closer to the character.

Cheers and Merry Christmas
Elsie King© 2024

Points of View in Story-telling

*[This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND]*

This blog was planned to discuss Deep Point of View (PoV). However, as I went through the previous blogs published by Indie Scriptorium, I realised we had omitted to talk about points of view in general. I decided to do a quick catch up on this important topic for writers.

Point of View in writing identifies who is telling the story. There are three main points of view to choose from: first person, third person and omniscient. The second person point of view can be used but is rare in fiction.

Discussions about PoV’s can be complex and difficult to get your head around so I will try to keep it clear and simple.

First person point of view – the story is written through the perspective of one character at a time and follows own their experience with everything else unknown to the reader. It is dominated by: I did, I saw, I thought, I felt etc. In most novels it follows only one protagonist but some books do have multiple first-person points of view. This PoV is mainly used for character development based stories and allows the reader to have an intimate relationship with the protagonists. It can limit the writer by its narrow focus but provides intimacy and immediacy. Applied to a frog it may read thus:
I surfaced into a dull, grey day. The water is cold. My stomach is empty so I look to the sky for an available fly but there are none. I am hungry, cold and lonely.

Third person PoV is a popular choice for novelists and there are a range of options which provide an author with a choice of perspectives.
Third person limited (sometimes called Deep PoV) is when the author writes as if from the inside of the character. Everything is filtered through that character’s senses, thoughts, feelings, experiences and opinions. It is useful to use when you want to focus on one character as they confront the dramatic elements of your plot.
The frog surfaced and felt the cold breeze. It looked around for flies and felt its hunger. There were no sounds of other frogs. It was alone. Third person remote is when the character is described as if from a point away from the character. This style is more useful when you want to focus on the plot and have multiple characters. The frog stuck it’s head out of the water. It looked around for flies but there were none. It went hungry.

Omniscient – or “God view”, in that the story is told by someone who knows and sees everything. It was a popular way of telling a story in the past. Think of Charles Dickens or Jane Austen where the author’s opinions and reflections are important in the telling of the story. Frogs are tailless amphibians, cold blooded and mostly carnivorous with a diet of insects. They live in small groups on both land and water. The frog illustrated has typical bulging eye and appears to be looking for food.

Many writers tend to select the PoV that they find most comfortable for both reading and writing. I love books written from the third person PoV and struggle with first person PoV. So, when I started writing I naturally wrote in third person.

There are also trends in acceptable writing conventions. Historically the omniscient PoV was popular but in modern times first and third person PoV novels are most common. In recent times many people strongly advocate for the third person limited PoV as it engages the reader with the characters and makes the writing zing. In fact, some editors and judges of competition see anything but Deep PoV as poor writing. This has become a rule that deserves a separate blog, so stay tuned.

There are lots of good articles on line with further information about PoV. I found
Complete Guide to Different Types on Point of View: Examples of Point of View in Writing provided examples and exercises. https://www.masterclass.com/articles/complete-guide-to-point-of-view-in-writing-definitions-and-examples

Cheers Elsie

Deep Point of View

The track was steep and bumpy. It shook his bike, made braking hard on the sharp corners. His eyes watered, his heart thundered. He felt like laughing but had to focus. He’s hadn’t felt this scared since he fell off his first two-wheeler.

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Points of View in Story-telling

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