Recently, our Indie Scriptorium group was invited to speak at a memoir group led by our new member, Berenice. A challenge facing writers of real life, people and experiences is how to tackle situations that are not perfect and may bring embarrassment to those mentioned in their life-stories.
So for this week, we are revisiting a post by Mary McDee who gives some advice on how to tackle those thorny issues.
It has been said that procrastination is ‘the thief of time’, and indeed it is, but it is very often misunderstood. How many times have we heard people describe themselves as a procrastinators when they turn up late for appointments, fail to meet deadlines or admit to having piles of unfinished projects that they meant to tackle when they had more free time? Procrastination can even be a common problem with writers of all genres.
In my personal experience, I have found that procrastination is more than a lack of time management skills, being disorganised or lacking motivation. In conversation with other writers who speak about their ambition to create significant works, they find that the end goal may feel daunting, causing them to avoid their projects and become distracted. I’ve heard of a description called ‘Imposter Syndrome’ where writers feel that their work is not good enough, that they are deluding themselves and may even experience the fear that their work may not achieve the desired outcomes, such as the approval of others, especially that of their more successful peers. I have realised that I often set high expectations of myself and in reviewing my work, question my ability, leading to hesitation, frustration and avoidance.
In the Shakespearian play of Richard 111, the king says, ‘I wasted time and now Time doth waste me,’ which is for me an apt description about how I feel about the many times I have put off doing writing tasks which have been waiting to be completed. I believe my issue is in aiming for perfection in my writing and spending endless hours editing, rewriting and revising my work, while anxiously aware that I am not progressing further than several reworked drafts. This causes self-doubt and stress as I worry that I might never finish the project which I started with so many ideas and enthusiasm.
The danger for people, like me, who know that they have a tendency to procrastinate, is that they are often inclined to ‘multi-task’ and get distracted by a whole range of disconnected activities instead of focussing on the one, single writing activity that requires their full attention. External distractions like social media, domestic duties, the telephone and television or personal hobbies can divert their attention away from writing. I may instinctively know that this is counterproductive and feel guilty about wasting precious time but may justify this by convincing myself that I will do better the next day, week or month, until often it all congeals into a familiar procrastinating blur…again. This may form a habit, creating a vicious cycle from which it seems virtually impossible to escape. When that happens to me, I feel embarrassed, stressed and vulnerable, avoiding the emotional task required to continue the work at hand.
I have spent many years trying to understand why, when I seemingly have no valid reason to put off performing some writing tasks, I often am caught at the last minute frantically working under stress to produce work of a high standard. Even if I micro-manage my time to avoid this occurring, it still happens. Even identifying as a procrastinator is tantamount to assuming that there is a controlling mechanism in my brain holding me ransom to a habit I am struggling to break. It has not always been so. As a studious child and student, I found the creative experience of writing my joy and pleasure, a circumstance that ironically carries on to this day as a mature person.
Ask yourself, ‘What have I as a so-called procrastinator done to help overcome the feelings of being overwhelmed, fear of failure, self-doubt, burn-out and disappointment?’
These are some of the strategies that I have employed that might prove helpful.
Good Luck with your projects.
© Berenice Norris 2025
Feature Photo: Waiting for a Feed, Baby Magpies ©L.M. Kling 2020
[I have spent hours reading the diary of my Great Aunt Dora. The story begins all full of the hopes of a young 18-year-old first-generation Australian girl whose parents had migrated from Germany to South Australia around 1877. I know her story, I knew and loved my great Aunt Dora. She will never marry. One of many women of her time, when, after World War 1, there were not enough men to go around. I imagine this is what life in the 1920’s was like for her, a maiden aunt caring for her parents.]
She had one once. Before the war.
He came from Hamburg. A distant relative from the family.
But the Great War intruded. He was the enemy.
Interned. Never to return.
She perched on the bench in the Royal Botanical Gardens. Watching. Men promenading in pale pinstriped suits, on their arms women in their frilly-white Sunday best, giggling.
Easy for the men, she thought. Pick and choose. Pick and choose. Even the damaged men, the cripples, have a chance.
She sniffed.
What about me? Is that my future? Caring for my aging parents? No choice but to be an old maid?
Having read Elsie King’s first two historical romance novels, A Suitable Bride and A Suitable Heir, I can highly recommend them. Both are well researched and are a good read. Hence, when deciding what to post for this week, I couldn’t go further than Elsie’s post on the subject of research.
Recently, my mother sent me an article about my paternal uncle. In it, he claimed to have ancestry extending back to Titus, a Greek convert to Christianity and the apostle Paul’s missionary companion. The author of the article took the claim with a grain of salt, saying, “Be that as it may …”
The article was written in the 1990s, way before we knew much about DNA. It was published when the internet was in its infancy and before research tools such as Wikipedia, and genealogical platforms such as Ancestry and My Heritage existed.
So, how did my uncle figure we were descendants of Titus?
Was it just a fanciful family history conclusion? Or did he have some access to secret information stored away in a library in Europe?
Many families have claims such as my uncle’s. It is what fuels family myths that are passed down from generation to generation, morphing and mutating from the original truth, much like Chinese whispers.
So, here was the challenge. Did this claim have any truth?
Equipped with the knowledge that historical claims need to be backed up by proof, I began my family history journey using research tools to find the evidence.
We don’t even know if Titus had any descendants. And if he did, who were those descendants? An initial search in my Bible notes reveals that Titus is last mentioned as going east of Greece, into the Balkans.
Yes, I have a percentage of Balkan ethnicity. But is that enough?
Next, I discussed this Titus theory of my uncle’s with my significant other, as you do. I find it useful to discuss my research with others and bounce ideas off each other. His first thought was the Roman Emperor Titus.
Now there’s a thought.
So, like a good amateur investigator, I spent some time tracing the noble line of the Orsini Family to which my father’s family is related. With the help of Wikipedia and My Heritage, I went back as far as I could. I am so thankful for Wikipedia, and My Heritage where information is shared and researchers are able to collaborate their findings.
But here I hit another snag. The article on the Orsini family in Wikipedia makes it abundantly clear that the Orsini’s would like to think they can trace their family back to Julius Caesar, but there is no solid proof.
As stated in the Wikipedia post on the Orsini Family (note the clause “according to family legend”):
“According to their own family legend, the Orsini are descended from the Julio-Claudian dynasty of ancient Rome.”
It’s not looking good for my uncle’s claims. My digging into the deep past of my dad’s ancestors and connection to Titus has gone cold.
This rabbit hole of fancy, that is, thinking we are related to someone great in our past, got me thinking how in our quest to build up our identity, we often take mighty leaps of faith without much substantiation.
History Research 101 which I picked up from my friend Carol in University and also as a research officer way back in my youth, taught me that good research depends on primary sources.
What are primary sources?
In family history research these are: birth, death, marriage, immigration and census records for a start. Diary entries and letters are also useful primary sources, as they give the reader a rounded view of the individual’s time and place in history. Newspaper articles can be helpful but can be skewed by a journalist’s subjective point of view. Hence, news reports, magazine articles and books may be seen as a secondary source.
That being said, even what appears to be solid records can become rubbery when the ancestor or ancestors, themselves are not truthful.
Another example, again the noble line. Information abounds for these famous ones on the internet. (Bless these historical influencers of the past.) And for this brief foray into history research, they serve a good purpose in the need to dig for information, find the hard facts, and support the genealogical claims. Plus, so much is written about these people, they become real and fleshed-out so to speak. Also, no touchy relatives will get offended if I use these noble people as my example.
A few months after plugging away doing the family history thing of filling in the boxes on my family tree, an interesting match appeared. Charlotte de Luxembourg, a noblewoman from the mid-1400s. The name Luxembourg piqued my interest as it resonated to be a name connected with the French and English royal families. I followed the lead slowly tracing back to Henry I of England and Charlemagne.
Then I returned to the key ancestor upon which this claim to such distinguished ancestry hung. Charlotte de Luxembourg. What was her age? Her age seemed to be in dispute. Furthermore, in some genealogies, she was missing.
I needed to do more research.
Was she just some family history fancy?
I worked out through my internet research that she was most likely Pierre de Luxembourg’s illegitimate daughter. Most likely born before Pierre married Margarete de Savoi. However, according to a genealogist on another family history site called Geni, she could possibly be the daughter of Pierre’s brother, Charles, Bishop of Laon. Either way, to smooth over the family’s disgrace, Charlotte officially became Pierre and Margarete’s daughter; the details of her birthday fudged in the mists of time and covered up so that she remained marriageable.
After what appears to be a shaky start to life in nobility, all ended well for Charlotte. She married an esteemed knight, Phillipe Estavayer. He went up in status and the world was none the wiser of her suspect background. From the records of the knight’s will, which I found in my internet research, Charlotte was well-provided for and loved.
When I first shared these findings with my family, there were those who were sceptical. As a result, I have had to be extra thorough in my research and use every resource and piece of evidence to support my conclusions.
I’m still at the beginning of my family history odyssey. One day I hope the results of this research, my legacy, will be dependable, based on solid facts, and not just a vague myth that boosts the ego but has no substance.
© Lee-Anne Marie Kling 2025
Sources: Ritter, Eug. Mariage de Philippe d’Estavayer avec Charlotte de Louxembourg, en 1484. Revue historique vaudoise, Volume 30 (1922)
ETH-Bibliothek Zürich, E-Periodica, https://www.e-periodica.c
Indie Scriptorium will cover the theme of memoir over the next few months. As we investigate all memoir-related topics, we will explore family history, historical writing, autobiographies, and more.
But, how does an aspiring family historian or memoir writer begin their journey?
For me, it began with years of gathering information. I have discovered that listening is the key to family history research. I needed to listen to my older relatives and collect their stories. Then I was able to build a picture of what life was like for them in generations past.
These are the first steps in my family history journey.
Stay tuned for more family history and memoir ideas in future blogs.
“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”
― Ernest Hemingway
© Lee-Anne Marie Kling 2025
Feature Photo: Gross Family Gathering circa 1906, near Horsham, Victoria courtesy M.E. Trudinger (nee Gross)
I like to celebrate. As a child, when I received full-marks for a spelling test, Dad rewarded me with a Kitchener Bun from the Fish ‘n Chip shop/Bakery which in the good ol’ days of my childhood was situated opposite Glenelg Primary School. A few years ago, now, when I used to drive my son his course in Magill, my mum and I treated ourselves to lunch at the local hotel.
Every so often, I check my Amazon account. I wipe off the virtual cobwebs of neglect, and dig deep in the files of my mind, retrieving the password to enter. I expect nothing much to have changed.
I’ve been busy with my blog and the rewards, small, though they are, compared to the rest of blogging world, but the steady trickle of views, likes and comments, satisfies me. Over the years, the number of followers has steadily grown.
Once long ago, now, I made a daring move, and posted my short story, Boris’ Choice—not for the faint-hearted or while one eats breakfast…After the post, I checked for results on Amazon with my War Against Boris Series books.
And…there were. Yes!
Then, I checked the reviews. Now, I don’t know how other writers have fared with reviews, but for many months since my books were published, I had received no reviews. Yes, I asked my readers to do the deed and tick the star-boxes and comment, with no results. Yes, they’d say, and the weeks went by and nothing. Were they just being polite? I have no illusions, and the reality is that art and literature are subjective—what one person likes another won’t.
Anyway, back to checking the reviews…I looked again at one of the countries one of my books sold. The page appeared different. A yellow bar, and a comment. Genuine feedback. Not a great appraisal, but an appraisal all the same. I knew the person responsible for this first-ever comment for my book but was not surprised at their response. I did wonder at the time how my novella would work for them—not well—just as I imagined when they informed me, they’d bought the book on Kindle. As I said before, Boris and his antics are well…not for everyone.
That being said, and for fear my works may be misunderstood, the over-riding theme of my stories are the classic fight of good against evil. How evil, like Boris, can creep into our lives. And when for whatever reason, usually when we maintain and enhance our self, and to avoid discomfort, we allow evil to stay. This evil, however subtle, will drive us to isolated places in our lives, much like Boris does in The Hitch-hiker; places we never wanted to go. I want young adults and people young at heart, to make choices and use their energy for goodness and to fight evil, so they can live a full life and also be an agent for good in their community and the world.
Especially in these times.
A dramatic scene which reminds me that Australian history is ancient, often sacred and secrete. There are Aboriginal myths shared at this site, but their deeper meaning is hidden from new Australians. A caution that, as writers, acknowledging indigenous stories requires sensitivity and care.
But the landscape is awe-inspiring and we can create our own myths when we write.
As expressed by John Keats: (letter to J.H. Reynolds 1818)
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What landscapes inspire you?
Timmy hunched over his desk, sobbing.
Luke laughed at him. Simmo slid back on his chair sneering. Bruce barked in the small skinny lad’s ear.
I watched, guarding my books from being flung out of the window, again.
Those boys!
Our Sensei marched into the classroom. We stood.
His face turned crimson. He thumped the blackboard. ‘Da’me Yo! Bad! Very Bad!’
Sensei swooped on Bruce and Simmo. Grasping their shirt collars, one in each hand, he clonked their heads together, forcing them to look at Timmy.
‘Look what you have done! You made him cry! Bad! Very Bad! Dame Yo!’
© Lee-Anne Marie Kling 2020
Feature Photo: Japanese School Students at Ritsurin Koen © L.M. Kling (nee Trudinger) 1985
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