Indie Scriptorium — Self Publishing Collective

Helping Each Other Publish

Skip to content
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Blog
  • Books For Sale
  • Introducing Indie Scriptorium
  • Links–More for You
Search

writing styles

Over-Exposed–Can There Be Too Much Showing?

August 11, 2024 / lmkling / Leave a comment

[This piece is so freshly written that the ink, if it were printed, would still be drying. It’s my thoughts on the subject of the value of “telling” in a writing world dominated by “showing”. I relate, here my own experiences as a writer and, being late at night here in Adelaide, South Australia, it hasn’t had the rigorous checks from the Indie Scriptorium team, or my mother. Please excuse any mistakes. They will be corrected in the next day or two.]

Telling vs Showing

I remember my early days in Writers’ group. Every time one of the members had a “telling passage” or a “was” in their sentence, the mentor went into meltdown.

So memorable her reaction to such writing offences, that, like the good writing students that we were, we avoided “telling” and “wases” as if they were the plague.

This “showing’ trend has flavoured storytelling since, I’m guessing, the advent of visual media, television and movies. So, at least the last hundred years. Before such time, literature was soaked in “telling”, passive voice and let’s not forget, the stodgy weasel words of the adverb and adjective kind. Read old news reports from the nineteenth century which you can on Trove, and you’ll see what I mean—weasel words as thick as treacle.

Why? In the past before television and movies, readers relied on minute descriptions to visualise the story. However, these days, “telling” all that detail sends the modern-day reader asleep. These days, readers prefer and enjoy “showing”. After all, isn’t visual media all showing?

Now, showing is fine. I attempted to find an article on the value of telling, especially since I believed that historical pieces and memoir would be more accurate and effective as telling—especially if a reader is researching and needs to gather facts as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Could I find it?

No. Na-na!

Gone with the wind and tide of proverbial algorithms to the bottom of the sea of blogs and posts. Thus, galvanising the rule that “showing” trumps “telling”.

So, as I was saying, for years I trained my storytelling craft to show and not tell. My first published novel Mission of the Unwilling is testimony to the triumph of showing over telling at all costs, an exemplar of page-turning, heart racing, showing and non-stop action in space.

The feedback? It was exhausting! Too fast-paced and gory images that the poor reader can never erase from their mind. Oh, well, the first is the worst, so they say.

As time progressed, the mentor moved on and the writers’ group grew up, I mean, matured as writers. Telling and the word “was” crept into our prose. When questioned, the more experienced, wiser writers replied, “What’s wrong with was?” Or “Telling moves the story on—as long as it’s not too much.”

I began to notice television shows such as “Arrested Development” and also famous people authoring their memoirs, use loads of “wases”, have heaps of telling, weasel words galore, plus plenty of passive sentences. And do you know what? I enjoyed watching these shows and reading these narratives.

But still, I soldiered on with showing with the avoidance of telling. I produced another four books which I published on Amazon. Yet, as time progressed, the occasional “was” crept in and stayed. Some telling did too. As did the weasel words. Was I getting slack in my old writing-age? No, such techniques balanced the storytelling and give the prose flow and rhythm.

Then, last year, I pulled out an old manuscript from 2010. Each week I revised, edited and then read a chapter from this story. No one complained. They nodded and said, “We can’t wait to hear what happens next.” I gave them all a completed copy to read as beta readers.

And here is where the story of that old manuscript becomes unhinged. Elsie King and my mother also received a beta copy. Now, keep in mind that this manuscript was written in the days when “show” was at its zenith in my writers’ group, and “telling” was to be hunted down and burnt at the stake.

Elsie’s report on the manuscript was scathing. She pulled the book to shreds and, apart from the idea I had, there was nothing redeemable in the manuscript.

Then, the nail in the coffin, mum started reading the story. “This is a disaster,” she said. “the prose is all jerky.”

Needless to say, I will not inflict the story on you readers for another ten years or so. Will take that long to fix it all up.

We figured out, however, that the main problem with this manuscript was that there was too much telling. Again, like Mission of the Unwilling, too fast paced with no place for the reader to rest. As for the “jerky” prose, that was also down to too much showing to avoid the passive sentences and “was”.

I might add here, I put the manuscript through the Microsoft Word editor, and it didn’t have anything good to say about the words written.

To conclude, what I learnt through this experience, was that telling does have its place. Telling is useful for pacing and to give the reader a rest after fast-paced action or high drama. In addition, telling, the use of the occasional adverb or adjective, or even “was” can help the words flow in the art of storytelling.

© Lee-Anne Marie Kling 2024

Feature Photo: Over-Exposed Native pine branches, Alligator Gorge Flinders Ranges © L.M. Kling 2024

Share this:

  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
Like Loading...

Writing tips–Show and Tell

June 23, 2024June 23, 2024 / lmkling / Leave a comment

Showing and Telling

“Don’t tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass.”

–Anton Chekhov

The pictures in an exhibition do not come with a detailed written description. You don’t get paragraphs telling the viewer what the subject matter is, what colours are used and why, what time of day the painting depicts the theme, composition or the medium used. The pictures show all that information. The little accompanying tag tells you the essentials—title, medium, artist name and price. That’s all you need.

In creative writing we use both showing and telling. But what does showing mean? What is telling? How do you differentiate when to show and when to tell? It can be tricky to sort it out, but these are my ideas.

Telling enables the author to provide quick, factual information. It may be important, but you don’t need to go into the information in any depth. It can move a story along efficiently. It’s like the painting tag, brief, factual but essential information. Telling may move the reader to another time, another place, mention the weather, comment on a relationship but it is briefly mentioned. Nothing is happening in the time or place that requires delving into the character or the story.

Telling examples: Twenty years later she found herself back in Rome.

                            It was a hot night.

                            He got married twice before he met the love of his life.

Showing is like painting a picture. It gets the reader to look deeply at a scene, often through the characters perspective, thoughts and dialogue. It delves into the character and situation and stirs the heart. It is slower and richer. Showing is the writer’s device to enter into the character, to use their senses, thoughts and emotions. It creates drama and provokes emotions and wonder in the reader.

Some examples:

Rome, the heat was cruel, the smell of dust and onions spiced the air. Nothing had changed in twenty years except there were more people on the streets and the noise of traffic roared in the background. Brenda sniffed, felt the baking, rough stone beneath her fingers. “Hello Rome, I’m back.” She laughed and remembered. I wonder if he’s still alive.

Heat wept from the night sky.

Robert’s heart actually pounded. He was too old for this. She looked like an angel her white hair long, lush and thick, her eyes deep pools of love. Her body strained towards him. I don’t deserve her. He turned to his son with a grin. “I should have bought a dog thirty years ago. Loyal, loving and much cheaper than two wives.”

The balance of showing and telling is something that I hadn’t considered prior to this blog. When you think of it, it should be easy. You show when you write an important dramatic scene but tell when you want to move your story to the next dramatic scene. But too much drama can be overwhelming while too much telling slows the story down and distances the reader.

You also must think about if you want the reader to be moved by what you are writing. Some subject matter is so dramatic it’s better to distance the reader by just telling events.

I’m currently working on a story which is about the very emotive subject of abortion. I’ve written it using more telling than showing and I think this works as it steps the reader back from what may cause distress or anger. The following paragraphs I hope illustrate my technique. The telling is in bold script.

Mavis finished feeding the baby, changed his wet nappy and swaddled him in his blanket. He looked at her with trusting dark blue eyes, his skin a golden colour his little fists fighting to get free of the blanket. But milk, comfort and gentle rocking made wakefulness futile. Mavis tucked him back into the cardboard box and pondered who to contact first.

Abandonment became a movement. The papers took sides. The right-wing journalists condemned the mothers of the children. The left -wing journalists blamed the right for life movement and evangelical churches. The airways rang with strident arguments and the police and social services complained of a lack of resources and put out regular appeals for more funding and foster carers.

“What’s happening to the babies, Caroline?” Mavis asked as she handed over another child from the front porch of an old Congregational Church. She now knew the names of many of the police officers, paramedics, nurses and social workers.

“Oh, Mavis” the woman’s eyes welled with tears. “We can’t get any more foster carers and the adoption process is, well it’s slow because they have to check everything before they can do a legal adoption. It’s a mess, and the entire system is overwhelmed. Lots of these babies have special needs and we can’t get them in with foster parents anyway. They couldn’t cope. We’ve had to open up orphanages and even that isn’t working. These babies need a mom and dad. They don’t do well if they don’t have cuddles and attention. It’s so sad.”

Mavis remembered seeing pictures of abandoned orphans in Russia or was it Romania? Remembered sunken sad eyes, skeletal bodies covered in sores. She felt her heart pound and her stomach clench. Her doctor said it was anxiety, but Mavis knew it for what it was, guilt. They had demanded the abolition of abortion and that was causing this horrible dilemma. They had saved the unborn, but the living children were suffering.

I hope this give other writers some ideas about showing and telling. I am considering doing the above exercise on my writing as another editing technique. It certainly makes you aware of when you are showing and when you are telling and what balance is required for the piece of writing.

Hope you get something out of this too.

The following references were used for this blog. They go into this topic in detail and provide fitting examples and explanations.

  • Jericho Writers – Show don’t Tell: What it means and why it matters – Henry Bingham (no date provided)
  • Writers write – How to master “Show don’t Tell” – Kyle A. Massa 2023
  • Pro-writing aid – “Show don’t tell” in Creative Writing – Sean Glatch 2022

Cheers ElsieKing©2024

Photo of Marion Art Group exhibition L.C. Wong©2024

Share this:

  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
Like Loading...
Blog at WordPress.com.
  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Indie Scriptorium -- Self Publishing Collective
    • Join 94 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Indie Scriptorium -- Self Publishing Collective
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d