Synopsis Revisited

August 25, 2024 / lmkling / Leave a comment

A synopsis is like describing a photo and including every detail that the eye beholds in a couple of paragraphs. It has to be succinct, engaging and include the style and themes of the novel. A pitch is a very short synopsis. An elevator pitch even shorter.

A synopsis is mostly used to sell your novel to an agent or a publisher. It is also useful to summarise your novel for presentations and marketing. However, don’t use a synopsis with potential readers or you will be giving away too much information.

My critique group has recently tackled the difficult issue of writing a synopsis and it spurred me on to revisit this topic. A 300–800-word synopsis is a document that sells your work, hooks the agent/publisher and gets your manuscript out of the slush pile.

So, where do you begin? Start by defining what is happening (the status quo). Bring in the inciting incident, the developments leading to the crisis and finish with the resolution of the crisis.

When writing a synopsis, it is important to include:

A clear outline of your plot including the hook at the beginning, big moments in the narrative, plot twists and the ending. You are giving the publisher/agent a full account of your novel so don’t hide anything as they want to know everything and especially that you have a satisfying ending.
You should give a description of your main protagonists and reveal how they change and grow throughout the book. Character names can be underlined or made bold, so their importance is shown.
Start your synopsis with a strong hook.
Showcase how your novel is different with strong themes and unique ideas.
Write the synopsis in the 3^rd person, present tense and use clear, easily read sentences with immaculate grammar and spelling.
Make sure the synopsis document contains your name, the title and synopsis so it is easily found by the agent/publisher.
Also include the genre, word count and who you think will be your readers.

Of course you cannot possibly publish the synopsis for your own novels. So, I decided to do a synopsis of a book that most people have read or know the ending through multiple movies and television shows. With abject apologies to Jane Austen, I will attempt a synopsis of Pride and Prejudice.

Pride and Prejudice – Long Synopsis (462 words)

A historical romantic novel of 122,189 words. Suitable for readers of refined literature.

Elizabeth Bennett (Lizzy) is the second eldest of five unmarried sisters whose financial circumstances leaves them all in the unenviable position of needing to marry into money. Lizzy is bold, intelligent, reads extensively and declares she will not marry unless in love.

Mr Darcy an extremely rich, handsome, gentleman accompanies his friend Mr Bingley to Netherfield. The arrival of two eligible men rouses excitement in the Bennett household. While Bingley forms an attachment to older sister Jane, Lizzy quickly concludes that Darcy is cold and proud, and she spurns him despite his large fortune.

Jane and Bingley fall in love and a proposal is expected, then Bingley mysteriously leaves for London. Jane is heartbroken and Lizzy incensed by her sister’s rejection. Her anger intensifies when she is expected to marry her cousin, the incorrigible Mr Collins. She refuses and Mr Collins finds solace with Lizzy’s best friend.

The arrival of the militia to the district brightens the lives of the Bennett sisters. Lizzy meets Wickham an exceedingly handsome but poor Lieutenant and the son of Darcy’s late steward. Wickham accuses Darcy of cheating him out of a legacy. This firms Lizzy’s prejudice against Darcy.

While visiting Mr and Mrs Collins, Lizzy again encounters Darcy who is visiting his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bough. Lizzy is discombobulated to receive an ill-considered marriage proposal from Darcy. She angrily rejects him because he admits that he stopped Bingley marrying her sister.

Darcy realises too late that he has fallen in love with Lizzy. He makes such a hash of his proposal that he fears he has lost any chance of overcoming her prejudice. He does warn her about the sleezy Wickham who’d tried to elope with his younger sister.

An unexpected holiday in Derbyshire with her uncle and aunt allows Lizzy to visit Pemberton, Darcy’s stately home. She is mortified when Darcy arrives and finds her there. This second chance allows Darcy to reveal his love and admiration for Lizzy and her preconceptions mellow. During this renewed courtship Lizzy learns her youngest sister Lydia has absconded with Wickham and her family face ruin. Darcy forsakes Lizzy and their romance seems doomed.

But Darcy searches for, and makes Wickham marry Lydia. He apologises to Bingley for interfering in his courtship and encourages him propose to Jane. Bingley proposes and Jane accepts. Darcy’s actions prove to Lizzy that he loves her.

A visit from the formidable Lady Catherine de Bough, warns Lizzy that Darcy is contemplating marrying her against his family’s wishes. Lady Catherine claims Darcy is engaged to her daughter and demands Lizzy reject her nephew. Lizzy refuses and realises she has fallen in love with Darcy. When he proposes she gladly accepts.

Short Synopsis – 256 words

Historical romantic novel. 122,189 words.

When Mr Bingley brings his friend Mr Darcy to his new country house, Mrs Bennett expects one of them will marry one of her five unmarried daughters. Jane and Mr Bingley are attracted but Lizzy finds Darcy’s proud contempt insufferable.

Jane is jilted by Bingley leaving Lizzy incensed. Her mood intensifies when she is expected to marry her odious cousin, Mr Collins. Despite Mrs Bennett’s pressure, Lizzy resists, Mr Collins and he marries her best friend instead.

The arrival of the militia to the district brightens the lives of the Bennett sisters. Lizzy is attracted to Lieutenant Wickham, the poor son of Darcy’s steward. Learning that Darcy withheld an inheritance from Wickham firms Lizzy’s prejudice.

A visit to Mr and Mrs Collins forces Lizzy to again spend time with Darcy. He’s fallen in love and proposes but his admission that he stopped Bingley marrying Jane ruins his chances. He warns Lizzy Mr Wickham has a penchant for very young girls.

While holidaying in Derbyshire with her aunt and uncle, Lizzy visits the Darcy stately home. Darcy arrives unexpectedly and Lizzy is mortified but this second chance allows Darcy to court Lizzy. Her preconceptions mellow. Just as the romance blossoms Lizzy learns that Wickham has run off with her youngest sister. This means ruination for her family and Darcy abandons Lizzy.

But Darcy searches for Wickham and makes him marry Lizzy’s sister. He encourages Bingley to propose to Jane. His actions prove his love for Lizzy. When he proposes she gladly accepts.

Elevator Pitch – 19 words

A regency romance revealing that first impressions can be misleading and true love can overcome both pride and prejudice.

Shorter Elevator pitch – 3 words.

Love overcomes prejudice.

Jericho Writers has an excellent web site: How to Write a Novel Synopsis. It includes step by step instructions and clear guidelines.

Cheers!

© Elsie King 2024

Over-Exposed–Can There Be Too Much Showing?

August 11, 2024 / lmkling / Leave a comment

[This piece is so freshly written that the ink, if it were printed, would still be drying. It’s my thoughts on the subject of the value of “telling” in a writing world dominated by “showing”. I relate, here my own experiences as a writer and, being late at night here in Adelaide, South Australia, it hasn’t had the rigorous checks from the Indie Scriptorium team, or my mother. Please excuse any mistakes. They will be corrected in the next day or two.]

Telling vs Showing

I remember my early days in Writers’ group. Every time one of the members had a “telling passage” or a “was” in their sentence, the mentor went into meltdown.

So memorable her reaction to such writing offences, that, like the good writing students that we were, we avoided “telling” and “wases” as if they were the plague.

This “showing’ trend has flavoured storytelling since, I’m guessing, the advent of visual media, television and movies. So, at least the last hundred years. Before such time, literature was soaked in “telling”, passive voice and let’s not forget, the stodgy weasel words of the adverb and adjective kind. Read old news reports from the nineteenth century which you can on Trove, and you’ll see what I mean—weasel words as thick as treacle.

Why? In the past before television and movies, readers relied on minute descriptions to visualise the story. However, these days, “telling” all that detail sends the modern-day reader asleep. These days, readers prefer and enjoy “showing”. After all, isn’t visual media all showing?

Now, showing is fine. I attempted to find an article on the value of telling, especially since I believed that historical pieces and memoir would be more accurate and effective as telling—especially if a reader is researching and needs to gather facts as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Could I find it?

No. Na-na!

Gone with the wind and tide of proverbial algorithms to the bottom of the sea of blogs and posts. Thus, galvanising the rule that “showing” trumps “telling”.

So, as I was saying, for years I trained my storytelling craft to show and not tell. My first published novel Mission of the Unwilling is testimony to the triumph of showing over telling at all costs, an exemplar of page-turning, heart racing, showing and non-stop action in space.

The feedback? It was exhausting! Too fast-paced and gory images that the poor reader can never erase from their mind. Oh, well, the first is the worst, so they say.

As time progressed, the mentor moved on and the writers’ group grew up, I mean, matured as writers. Telling and the word “was” crept into our prose. When questioned, the more experienced, wiser writers replied, “What’s wrong with was?” Or “Telling moves the story on—as long as it’s not too much.”

I began to notice television shows such as “Arrested Development” and also famous people authoring their memoirs, use loads of “wases”, have heaps of telling, weasel words galore, plus plenty of passive sentences. And do you know what? I enjoyed watching these shows and reading these narratives.

But still, I soldiered on with showing with the avoidance of telling. I produced another four books which I published on Amazon. Yet, as time progressed, the occasional “was” crept in and stayed. Some telling did too. As did the weasel words. Was I getting slack in my old writing-age? No, such techniques balanced the storytelling and give the prose flow and rhythm.

Then, last year, I pulled out an old manuscript from 2010. Each week I revised, edited and then read a chapter from this story. No one complained. They nodded and said, “We can’t wait to hear what happens next.” I gave them all a completed copy to read as beta readers.

And here is where the story of that old manuscript becomes unhinged. Elsie King and my mother also received a beta copy. Now, keep in mind that this manuscript was written in the days when “show” was at its zenith in my writers’ group, and “telling” was to be hunted down and burnt at the stake.

Elsie’s report on the manuscript was scathing. She pulled the book to shreds and, apart from the idea I had, there was nothing redeemable in the manuscript.

Then, the nail in the coffin, mum started reading the story. “This is a disaster,” she said. “the prose is all jerky.”

Needless to say, I will not inflict the story on you readers for another ten years or so. Will take that long to fix it all up.

We figured out, however, that the main problem with this manuscript was that there was too much telling. Again, like Mission of the Unwilling, too fast paced with no place for the reader to rest. As for the “jerky” prose, that was also down to too much showing to avoid the passive sentences and “was”.

I might add here, I put the manuscript through the Microsoft Word editor, and it didn’t have anything good to say about the words written.

To conclude, what I learnt through this experience, was that telling does have its place. Telling is useful for pacing and to give the reader a rest after fast-paced action or high drama. In addition, telling, the use of the occasional adverb or adjective, or even “was” can help the words flow in the art of storytelling.

© Lee-Anne Marie Kling 2024

Feature Photo: Over-Exposed Native pine branches, Alligator Gorge Flinders Ranges © L.M. Kling 2024

Getting Going and Flowing with your Writing

July 28, 2024 / lmkling / Leave a comment

Tackling the Challenge of Writing

*Feature Photo: Branches creating a puzzle © L.M. Kling 2023*

Do you want to write? Wish you could write? Feel you have stories in your head that want to come out, stories you are sure others would enjoy? But you just don’t know where to start!

Many would-be writers seem to think that you must start at the beginning, work your way through the first chapter then the next and the next until you get to the end. Finito! Ready for publication!

This may be the way it is for some; but in my experience, very few. Very, very few. Such folk are rare birds indeed and quite possibly rare birds with a great deal of experience. The rest of us have to do things differently.

One way that is highly recommended and successfully used by many is to work out a plan; make notes for each chapter; shuffle things around a bit if it seems better that way; add or subtract incidents, characters, locations… Then, when you are happy with the big picture you’ve worked out, you can get writing. Many will begin at the beginning and proceed in an orderly manner, chapter by chapter. Others will find it more satisfactory; more useful to jump in the middle somewhere; write the easy bits (or maybe the harder bits!) first up. Doesn’t matter; all equally valid and ultimately successful. So go with what suits you.

I’ve always seen my “early-draft” writing as a sort of jigsaw puzzle – dozens of pieces (ideas) to be fitted together in such a way that they would eventually create a “picture” to be enjoyed or confronted or challenged by or…

As a kid I loved jigsaws; spent hours doing them and devised many different ways of tackling them. The easiest way was to separate out all the edge pieces; assemble the “frame” then fill in the middle. If I wanted a challenge, I’d divide the big heap into little heaps of similar colours and go from there. The ultimate challenge was to do the whole thing using all the pieces reversed, i.e. on a large tray or rectangular pan used for cooking slices or cakes and with the plain backing uppermost. When complete I’d carefully tip the whole lot out to check for success (or failure!).

Using the jigsaw analogy, my initial writing on scraps of paper; on the backs of envelopes or circular letters are the jigsaw pieces. Sometimes it might be great chunks of scribbled prose (or poetry). At other times just a sentence or two, a few words that seemed to sing; to sum up a situation, a feeling, an incident, a character… It’s all grist to the mill; grist that I will re-arrange, add to, change, scrap, enhance, re-locate, delete…

Whenever I begin with a nice, orderly, logical plan or outline I feel it’s like starting the jigsaw with the edge pieces; things flow and there is a comfortable feeling of achievement. Many times, however, I feel I’m wrestling with all the pieces upside down, the blank backs of the bits, no idea of the final picture.

I know my finished product has to have a beginning, a middle and an end. It must flow; have a logical sequence of events; maybe a crisis and resolution; drama, pathos, evince tears or laughter or… But this is the finished work; ready for a reader to enjoy. The completed jigsaw puzzle.

So, how do you tackle your writing? Are you hobbled by the belief that you must start at the beginning and laboriously work your way through in logical progression? Or do you always just jump in the deep end, flounder around, fed up and frustrated? Either way it is far too easy to decide this writing racket is all too hard; you’ve no talent; it’s not for you. Which is sad if you have ideas and stories in your head that you want to share, if you find words fascinating and putting them together in interesting ways a satisfying and fulfilling challenge.

When it comes to grammar and basic sentence structure there ARE rules that need to be obeyed. If you don’t know the rules or your knowledge of them is wobbly, you don’t need to see this as a major roadblock – there are plenty of people willing and able to help tidy up writing for those who see the rules of grammar as a bit of a handicap but don’t let this stop them getting their ideas down onto paper. These people are called editors, and all published authors value the contributions they make to the final success of their literary efforts. There is absolutely no humiliation or shame attached to using the services of an editor. Just make sure you get a kind, caring and, above all, knowledgeable one!!

BUT but, but.

There are no rules at all when it comes the actual writing bit itself. How, when where you do it is up to you; your own choice to suit you and your lifestyle. Do it your way; whatever feels right and comfortable for YOU. But do just grab a pen, pencil, bit of paper and write.

© Mary McDee 2024

Feature Photo: Branches creating a puzzle © L.M. Kling 2023

Writing Tips–Evocative and Effective Writing

July 14, 2024 / lmkling / Leave a comment

DISTILLING the ESSENCE

Many, many years ago I read something that, as a writer, has haunted me ever since.

Those words painted a picture that stayed in my mind – it is only a simple picture but vivid and emotive; a picture I wish I had the skill to record with repaint.

The sun is low in the sky – morning or evening it matters not. I’m sitting by a lake surrounded by trees but nestled in a mountainous land. Far away, at the other end the mountains soar up in cliffs that come right to the edge of the lake. At one point a waterfall cascades in a maelstrom of spray.

However, in front of me, things are more peaceful. As the sun to my left is so low in the sky the trees are casting long shadows across the lake. A gentle breeze is disturbing the leaves causing those shadows to move while at the same time rippling the surface of the water so the shadows break up and re-form.

As I said, a simple picture: two short paragraphs; one hundred and nineteen words in all. I hope, with my word picture, I’ve been able to get you to see what I can see, feel a little of what I feel whenever I bring this to mind.

“So, what!!” I can hear you muttering. “Where are you going with all this waffle? What’s the point? And that title makes no sense at all!”

If I were you, I’d agree entirely. So let me explain. It was a mere seven words from a poem written about two hundred years ago by Alfred, Lord Tennyson; Englishman whose life spanned the eighteen hundreds (1809 – 1892). Those seven words? –

“The long light shakes across the lake.”

To be able to produce seven simple little words, all but one a single syllable and arrange them in such a way that they gave me a vivid picture was thrilling. I was awe struck. And humbled. This was what writing was all about! Would; could, I ever be able to attain a level of skill to match this??

The next line; (another seven words!) “And the wild cataract leaps in glory” fleshed things out; completed the picture. Wow!!

© Mary McDee 2024

Feature Photo: Valley, Lake, Mountains—Engelberg, Switzerland © L.M. Kling 1998

NB. That poem, by the way, is “The Splendour Falls on Castle Walls” if you want to check it out.

Encouragement for Bloggers–Buried Gold

July 7, 2024 / lmkling / Leave a comment

[Our Indie Scriptorium team have been putting together an anthology of some of our posts over the last two years. As I hunted around my messy computer filing-system for a number of these cheeky posts that went hiding, I came across this gem that somehow got buried in the vast layers of time. Amazing what one finds when searching for something else. So, with a few changes, here it is…Enjoy and be encouraged.]

BURIED GOLD

People spend their lives building their own kingdoms. As creators, we often measure success by how far our name-brand spreads over the “Empire” of the internet, world, community, and how much “gold” (money) we’ve amassed through the sale of our product.

When I first started exhibiting my paintings, friends, family, and fellow artists asked, ‘Have you sold?’ and ‘How many paintings have you sold?’

The fact that I had sold made me an authentic artist.

Same can be true as an author of two self-published works of fiction. Again, like a broken record, those interested asked, ‘How many books have you sold?’

Answer, ‘Er, um…not that many.’

Then the implication I should have gone through the traditional route of getting a publisher.

Yup, maybe, probably…still deciding if I’ll do that with future books, especially the travel ones that have colour photos on glossy pages—the coffee-table variety. Not sure how I’d go…I mean, I’m not an unpublished “virgin” since I’ve gone ahead and self-published on Amazon. I got impatient, afraid I’d remain invisible with a pile of rejection letters, and my novel manuscripts languishing as a PDF-file on my computer hard-drive (the hard copies stored in a box in my closet).

So, I published The Hitch-hiker (a novella) and Mission of the Unwilling (novel), on Amazon. Check them out. You can download them for the cost of a cup of coffee and find out what mischief Boris gets up to.

*[Photo 1: The Hitch-Hiker (c) L.M. Kling 2015]*

After publishing, having a little launch in our South Aussie pre-Christmas summer sweltering in 40 degrees Celsius, then a DIY advertising with bookmarks, flyers and emails, I decided to do research on how other Indi-authors built up their e-book kingdoms. There must be a secret method for digging up the buried gold of success in sales.

*[Photo 2: Mission of the Unwilling (c) L.M. Kling 2015]*

I discovered a mine of information lighting up my computer screen. I also discovered a precious nugget in an old Australian Artist Magazine—stand-out quality. In today’s language, I assume that means “brand”.

So, when at our SALA exhibition launch, a friend told me they knew which paintings were mine, that I had a unique style, I thanked them. I was on the right track with my “brand”.

But my books? Well, there’s Boris…albeit swamped by millions of other characters on Amazon.

Then, I discovered a gem—blogging. Not in the way I anticipated, though. I was optimistic. With my blogging presence, out there, I expected sales to rise and hundreds of instant visitors to my blogsite. My works were brilliant, right?

My posts drowned under the deluge of millions of other posts, tweets, Facebook pages, and other more successful blogs. For weeks, I remained South Australia’s best kept secret. Even my mum couldn’t find me—not even with my help on her computer.

Fellow writers at my writers’ group suggested I needed to post articles more frequently, get those WWW- “neural”-pathways (Algorithms) working by increasing traffic. Still, the site remained as lively as a cemetery.

Over time, I gathered a band of followers: friends, family, colleagues from church, writers’ and art group. Interest ensued—all Australian—no likes.

Undeterred, I wrote and published posts once or twice a week. Writing, my therapy. The articles available for free, my gift to the world. I prayed that there’d be others out there who’d find my words, and consider them useful, inspirational, amusing.

Week by week, comments and likes (mostly from mum) trickled in. Then, a comment from someone I didn’t know…and a visitor from the United States. Oh, what joy!

A friend encouraged me. I’d improved since they first started reading my blogs. Yes, writing is a craft; the discipline and practice refined my skill to communicate.

I read posts from other bloggers. I liked the posts that resonated with me. I knew I must start commenting. Friends who had websites and blogs said that’s how you make your presence known in the blogging community. I usually read WordPress articles late at night and was concerned my comments would come across as sleep garbled. Eventually, I plucked up the courage to comment. My first comment was about cats.

Each month, slow and steady, the number of followers, likes and visitors grew. My site on WordPress, the first place I visit each day when I open my computer. What countries have visited today? Check the emails. Who has liked me? Who’s following? I visit their sites and see what gems of writing, stories, photos, or paintings they have.

My world has opened; I read stories from every continent…and my stories shared around the globe.

*Photo 3: Screenshot, My Stats for the Year (c) L.M. Kling 2024*

The treasure I found by entering the world of bloggers, is not the gold I collect in my bank account for my own kingdom from my own works, but the cities of gold we share collectively as writers and artists. We put our stories out there and celebrate each other’s works.

So, a heart-felt thank you for all you who have followed, liked and visited my humble site—and thank you all for your stories, insights, artwork and photography.

*Photo 4: Screenshot, visitors from all over the world (c) L.M. Kling 2024*

So, if you’ve started up a blog/website and are waiting for it to be noticed, don’t give up. Keep writing, reading, commenting, liking and following and watch your readership grow.

© Lee-Anne Marie Kling 2016; updated, 2024

Feature Photo: Orange-Golden Sunset (c) L.M. Kling 2024

Story Writing Tips–Fab First Lines

June 30, 2024 / lmkling / Leave a comment

Fabulous Opening lines.

It’s my opinion a good opening line isn’t essential for your story or novel, but it won’t do it any harm.

My critique group decided to revisit the essentials of writing as a way of everyone learning from the same page and improving our collective efforts at finding the right words for our various projects.

First topic – opening lines.

I realised that when I read a novel I don’t get put off by the opening line hence my opinion that a good opening line is not essential is from my personal experience. However, I love books written in third person in past tense so if the first line has an omniscient POV and is written in the present tense I tend to put it back on the library shelf.

So, what makes a good opening line?

I googled the above question and found some great information.

The Literary Hub presented an article by Allegra Hyde.

Literary Hub

What Makes a Great Opening Line?

A good opening line “should capture your characters voice, it should carry your style, and it should be relevant and meaningful enough to engage your readers and entice them to read onto the next line.” An, “elegantly balanced dose of clarity and curiosity.”

However, it should not be “so heavy that it weighs on you or so literary that it chases away or confuses the reader.”

Allegra also suggests that the opening lines clarity should provide a sense of time, place, character and plot. The curiosity can involve the element of tragedy, conflict, mystery that fuels your story.

Jericho Writers
Jericho Writers

https://jerichowriters.com › good-opening-sentences

Suggest a short clear sentence that grabs the readers attention.

Use verbs correctly and adjectives sparingly.

Use words that add weight.

It doesn’t have to be loud; subtlety can be effective.

After doing this research I decided that for me a good opening line:

Is a short sentence where every word has weight and substance.
Intrigues the reader
Clarifies if the novel is written in first person, third person or omniscient.
Provides the tone of the book
Pulls the reader into the situation
Infuses them with curiosity about what comes next.

I then found some examples of opening lines I loved:(you can’t beat the classics)

Albert Camus – “Mother died today.”

Jane Austen – “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” (apparently the most famous opening line ever)

Charles Dickens – “Marley was dead: to begin with.” (love this one)

So, putting the new knowledge into our own writing I have selected to test out some ideas for my new romantic short story Honeygate.

He stood at the back of the hall his face shrouded by a deep hoodie. (Does capture the tone of the story but too descriptive with no hook)
Magical, menacing mesmerising. (Fuels the curiosity but doesn’t provide any clarity about who’s talking or the situation)
I couldn’t see his face but his gaze stole my well-rehearsed words and left me floundering. (clearly defines the characters point of view, raises curiosity, puts it into a context and suggests the potential conflict between the protagonists)

Just doing this exercise has raised my awareness of the importance of an opening line and given me some directions so I can play around with various types of lines and find the best one.

What I found particularly helpful is that using a first-person POV would work well for this story. My heroine has felt the impact of the hero’s gaze and is discombobulated enough to forget her speech she can have the stage from here on and tell us her story from her perspective.

Hope this makes sense

The illustration is attributed to an Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND.

Writing tips–Show and Tell

June 23, 2024June 23, 2024 / lmkling / Leave a comment

Showing and Telling

“Don’t tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass.”

–Anton Chekhov

The pictures in an exhibition do not come with a detailed written description. You don’t get paragraphs telling the viewer what the subject matter is, what colours are used and why, what time of day the painting depicts the theme, composition or the medium used. The pictures show all that information. The little accompanying tag tells you the essentials—title, medium, artist name and price. That’s all you need.

In creative writing we use both showing and telling. But what does showing mean? What is telling? How do you differentiate when to show and when to tell? It can be tricky to sort it out, but these are my ideas.

Telling enables the author to provide quick, factual information. It may be important, but you don’t need to go into the information in any depth. It can move a story along efficiently. It’s like the painting tag, brief, factual but essential information. Telling may move the reader to another time, another place, mention the weather, comment on a relationship but it is briefly mentioned. Nothing is happening in the time or place that requires delving into the character or the story.

Telling examples: Twenty years later she found herself back in Rome.

It was a hot night.

He got married twice before he met the love of his life.

Showing is like painting a picture. It gets the reader to look deeply at a scene, often through the characters perspective, thoughts and dialogue. It delves into the character and situation and stirs the heart. It is slower and richer. Showing is the writer’s device to enter into the character, to use their senses, thoughts and emotions. It creates drama and provokes emotions and wonder in the reader.

Some examples:

Rome, the heat was cruel, the smell of dust and onions spiced the air. Nothing had changed in twenty years except there were more people on the streets and the noise of traffic roared in the background. Brenda sniffed, felt the baking, rough stone beneath her fingers. “Hello Rome, I’m back.” She laughed and remembered. I wonder if he’s still alive.

Heat wept from the night sky.

Robert’s heart actually pounded. He was too old for this. She looked like an angel her white hair long, lush and thick, her eyes deep pools of love. Her body strained towards him. I don’t deserve her. He turned to his son with a grin. “I should have bought a dog thirty years ago. Loyal, loving and much cheaper than two wives.”

The balance of showing and telling is something that I hadn’t considered prior to this blog. When you think of it, it should be easy. You show when you write an important dramatic scene but tell when you want to move your story to the next dramatic scene. But too much drama can be overwhelming while too much telling slows the story down and distances the reader.

You also must think about if you want the reader to be moved by what you are writing. Some subject matter is so dramatic it’s better to distance the reader by just telling events.

I’m currently working on a story which is about the very emotive subject of abortion. I’ve written it using more telling than showing and I think this works as it steps the reader back from what may cause distress or anger. The following paragraphs I hope illustrate my technique. The telling is in bold script.

Mavis finished feeding the baby, changed his wet nappy and swaddled him in his blanket. He looked at her with trusting dark blue eyes, his skin a golden colour his little fists fighting to get free of the blanket. But milk, comfort and gentle rocking made wakefulness futile. Mavis tucked him back into the cardboard box and pondered who to contact first.

Abandonment became a movement. The papers took sides. The right-wing journalists condemned the mothers of the children. The left -wing journalists blamed the right for life movement and evangelical churches. The airways rang with strident arguments and the police and social services complained of a lack of resources and put out regular appeals for more funding and foster carers.

“What’s happening to the babies, Caroline?” Mavis asked as she handed over another child from the front porch of an old Congregational Church. She now knew the names of many of the police officers, paramedics, nurses and social workers.

“Oh, Mavis” the woman’s eyes welled with tears. “We can’t get any more foster carers and the adoption process is, well it’s slow because they have to check everything before they can do a legal adoption. It’s a mess, and the entire system is overwhelmed. Lots of these babies have special needs and we can’t get them in with foster parents anyway. They couldn’t cope. We’ve had to open up orphanages and even that isn’t working. These babies need a mom and dad. They don’t do well if they don’t have cuddles and attention. It’s so sad.”

Mavis remembered seeing pictures of abandoned orphans in Russia or was it Romania? Remembered sunken sad eyes, skeletal bodies covered in sores. She felt her heart pound and her stomach clench. Her doctor said it was anxiety, but Mavis knew it for what it was, guilt. They had demanded the abolition of abortion and that was causing this horrible dilemma. They had saved the unborn, but the living children were suffering.

I hope this give other writers some ideas about showing and telling. I am considering doing the above exercise on my writing as another editing technique. It certainly makes you aware of when you are showing and when you are telling and what balance is required for the piece of writing.

Hope you get something out of this too.

The following references were used for this blog. They go into this topic in detail and provide fitting examples and explanations.

Jericho Writers – Show don’t Tell: What it means and why it matters – Henry Bingham (no date provided)
Writers write – How to master “Show don’t Tell” – Kyle A. Massa 2023
Pro-writing aid – “Show don’t tell” in Creative Writing – Sean Glatch 2022

A Poem–Birth of a Novel

June 16, 2024June 16, 2024 / lmkling / Leave a comment

BIRTH of the NOVEL

Ever since time began

We’ve been telling tales

Entertaining others

With stories of people and perfidy

Friendship, revenge

Cowardice and bravery…

Imagination soars –

We can see those we create,

Hear their voices,

Eavesdrop their chatting.

We know them so well,

How they dress,

Where they live,

Who they love

Or hate….

What it is that they feel

And why…

When it was that the conflicts

They’re embroiled in began –

For a story must have conflict,

Conflict and resolution.

Ever since we could speak

We’ve been telling tales.

Yarning round campfires;

Huddled in caves

As storms howl;

Rain drowns our world

So we seek comfort,

Seek to pass time,

Seek to get into the mind

Of our mates,

We build shared memories

And forge a community.

Time passed.

Scratchings on stone became letters –

A letter for each sound that we spoke.

Those letters made words

So now we recorded our doings and thoughts,

Our buying and selling, Our songs and our stories…

The novel was born!

(c) Mary McDee 2024

Feature Photo: Around the Campfire (c) L.M. Kling 2010

World Building–A Fruitful Exercise

June 10, 2024 / lmkling / Leave a comment

World Building Exercise
from a Template

*Feature photo: Late Autumn Vineyard, Wirra Wirra, Maclaren Vale © L.M. Kling 2024*

A huge apology for being a day late posting this week’s blog. As Mary McDee says (often), “Technology, you can’t trust it.” She says this while spending the week chasing Dorper sheep (Goat-Sheep Cross), from the neighbour’s yard back into her own. They are more stupid than actual sheep, much like she thinks computers are.

Anyway, ‘twas a computer crisis at Mrs. T’s (my mum), that sent the weekend into wobble-world. That with the default of chasing ancestors down familial rabbit holes, I have done little in the way of preparing an article to post, let alone any idea what to post on the chosen topic, World Building.

Then inspiration struck. At the proverbial last-minute. Why not do a spot of World Building from one of my developing novels? Why not, indeed!

I searched around for a worthy template—one that was interesting, not too many questions (just enough for the exercise) and one that was memorable. I didn’t have to look far on the World Wide Web, to find this little beauty: GRAPES.

“G” for Geography

“R” for Religion

“A” for Achievements

“P” for Politics

“E” for Economics

“S” for social Structure

There’s even a colourful chart with two or three questions under each heading to help with the process, courtesy of Amanda Schlindwein. Thank you, Amanda, for posting this helpful model which you can see if you click on the link to her website.

So, here goes. I will use the book that I have been posting serially on Wattpad, Diamonds in the Cave as my world building muse. (I won’t be addressing every question in the GRAPE help. The post would end up being too long, otherwise.)

Geography

How does the region’s climate and placement affect the characters in your story? The village of Luthertal on Pilgrim Planet (approximately 20 light years from earth) suffers extremes of temperature and weather conditions because of orbiting two suns. After emigrating from Eastern Europe from the 19th century, where climate was more stable, they find the change confronting, confusing, hard on their stamina and they become angry. They need to vent their anger and frustration. As a primarily farming community, the droughts, fires and floods that fail their crops, and kill their livestock, cause them to seek someone to blame. Hence a perfect storm for parties of evil intent to stir up the idea of witch hunts.

Religion

What do your characters believe in?

One God and the founder of European Protestantism, Martin Luther. But they, being Wends, are synchronistic, never having relinquished the superstitions, magic and healing practices from their “heathen” ancestors. So, there’s this conundrum; a person who fails to attend church each Sunday is called a “heathen”, but it’s okay to believe that breaking a wishbone of cooked chicken and the person getting the larger portion can make a wish. Or a character must trust in God to heal them, and the church prays for them, but it’s acceptable to treat the sick with herbal remedies as according to the long tradition of apothecary. I might digress here that my two-times great grandfather came from the region of Lusatia (which is where the Wends come from). Before he became a doctor he studied, at Herrnhut, the base of the Moravian Brethren, (so we’re talking seriously Christian here), the medicinal art of apothecary. Maybe some Lutherans would’ve had a problem with that, but we’re talking about a particular community, the Wends or Sorbs. So, writing from my own family history experience, which is partially Wend, I can see this community of Luthertal being more open to magic and the supernatural. One day I might write on these supernatural experiences that my family and relatives have experienced.

Achievements

What has this civilisation created that has withstood the test of time?

As mentioned above, being an agricultural community, the Wends are robust and healthy. They have their Wendish culture of dress and traditions. They are remembered as an industrious people, but also as a deeply religious God-fearing people. In fact, they feared God so much they escaped the persecution and oppressive norms put upon their religious practices that they planned to emigrate to South Australia. Unfortunately, an evil alien called, Boris who pretended to be God’s ambassador, led them astray and transported them to the Pilgrim Planet with plans to enslave them and breed an army from them.

Politics

Who controls the society and how do they control it?

Although in Diamonds in the Cave the Wendish community are emerging from the ruthless fascist control of Boris, having been saved from his clutches by the good guys Intergalactic Space Force (IGSF), in my previous book, The Lost World of the Wends, they are still politically and structurally fragile and finding their way. They have reverted to the ways of old where the Burgermeister runs the village and decisions are made by all villagers gathering in the church. The Wend community is by this time a theocracy. However, Boris still has his influence with a couple of his agents hiding in plain sight in the village. These agents are stirring up the Wend community to seek out witches and burn them.

Economics

What is considered valuable? And how are products bought and sold?

Apart from food and the products from farming used to be self-sustaining, as was the custom back in Eastern Europe in the mid-nineteenth century, mining minerals and ore for power and energy for space travel is taking off. Mutants who have been freed from slavery under Boris have been brought in to help develop the village building houses and mining in the local mountain range of Mount Martin. The Wend villagers begin to regard the mutants with suspicion and they become targets for witch-burnings.

The currency that the Wend community use are “pfennig” (pennies) and thalers, like what they used in Saxony in the mid-nineteenth century. Products are bought and sold at market which is open every day except Sunday. Sunday is the Lord’s day, a day of rest.

Social Structure

Who are the most important people?

The Burgermeister (Herr Biar), the pastor and the doctor (Dr. Zwar), who in Diamonds in the Cave is the pastor. Prestige is shown by the assets the high-status ones have. The doctor owns a Mercedes. Herr Biar has a beautiful, large brick house and large farm.

Least important people?

The mutants, old single women (Gertrude) and women who don’t fit in the community (the female heroine, Minna). They are the prime targets for witch-burnings.

***

That’s all for my little exercise for starters. I found it helpful to clarify my ideas for the world in which my characters live in Diamonds in the Cave.

Have a go yourself using the GRAPE template or click on the links below to try one of the other templates that looked useful.

Let us know how you go? Or if you have found a template that works for you, send us a link.

World Building Templates

Worldbuilding Template: 101 Prompts to Build an Immersive World (kindlepreneur.com)

Get A Free World Building Template With 100+ Questions (richiebilling.com)

World Building in Storytelling

June 2, 2024 / lmkling / Leave a comment

World Building and Why I’m Not a Gamemaster…

*The Mini world of Hermannsburg* *© L.M. Kling 2023*

It’s been one of those months busy, busy, busy. I was asked to write a blog about world building and failed miserably. That’s how it is with me and the idea and how to of world building. While in my first blog on the subject, now titled “Before World Building” I floated into dreaming and imagination, I did not realise that for most people in the world in which I live that airy fairy imagination doesn’t cut the muster. For them it’s the details and secret rules that only a Fantasy role playing gamemaster has access to. I’m not a game master.

My one foray into fantasy role playing ended badly, another epic fail, where, despite it being “free form” I had no idea how to operate in this peculiar world that the “game master” had constructed. It had rules and I was constantly breaking those rules.

The first thing about World Building is it’s about rules. Like if you have a game. You have the boundaries or field of that game. The field looks a certain way like the stage or land in which you story is set. For example, you may have goal posts if it’s a football game. The field will have green grass with markings. And so on. Then in the game the players are dressed in team colours and have roles like goal kicker and goal defence. Just like in your story, your characters dress a certain way, have roles and personalities. The game has of course rules that the players must follow, just as in you story the village or land will have laws, culture mores and religious practices they must follow.

So, you can see that it’s advisable to think about these “rules” for the world in which your character lives and into which your reader will vicariously enter. In the world the reader enters, if the world is believable, the reader suspends disbelief and immerses themselves in that world. I should mention here that Mary McDee has written a yet-to-be published children’s story “Chaos in the Kingdom” which has a land which she has mapped out, and there were specific rules of language that the characters must obey. And in my own Sci-fi books, I spent decades researching Astronomy, space travel, physics, UAPs (formerly UFO’s), alien first contact and abductions to make my story of Minna’s alien abduction by Boris believable.

This then is the premise of how to create a world. To be frank. I have no idea how I land on creating my worlds. I brainstorm. Research. Write notes. Do character profiles. The story develops and I write it. In the process, the world forms around the story. This, I’m finding works well in the world we know—our contemporary world. For the Science Fiction or Fantasy genre, since the worlds are alien to our general human world view, the writer needs to delve into greater detail to make the world cohesive, consistent and believable for the reader. Tolkien’s last uncompleted work before he died was The Silmarillion which as I understand was his notes building a fantasy world. It’s a decent sized book. As for me, I spent over thirty years planning, researching, world-building and writing my first book, Mission of the Unwilling.

Now, on that line of thought, about conveying the details of the world in your story, there is a danger for the author to become bogged down in too much information to describe their fantasy world. Have you ever read a book which spends three quarters of the story on developing the world in which the characters live? I have. Victor Hugo’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I laboured through three hundred pages of the book describing every square inch of Paris, before I reached the interesting story part. I dare say, the novel served me well when we did visit Paris a second time in 2014. Victor was just following the “rules” of world building…And playwrights and movie makers of the Hunchback of Notre Dame plays and movies were eternally grateful.

Not sure if I tackled such a 300-page info-dump, I could have Victor Hugo’s success. One of the world building articles I read advised against overloading the reader with detail.

On another note, about being OCD about detail, is that it can stall the writing of the work or story. I remember one of my first attempts to draft a novel. I was 18 and had this idea for a fantasy romance. Like any obedient aspiring author, I asked my playwright uncle for advice. Build the world, he advised. Do a story map. Make a diagram or graph of the characters and their relationship with each other. So, I did. Spent all summer building the world and the storyline never happened. Those pages now languish, buried in a cupboard somewhere…covered in dust.

However, as we were discussing world building in a recent Indie Scriptorium meeting, Mary McDee voiced a concern that our focus is too much on the fiction to the neglect of the non-fiction. I believe that even in non-fiction, the writer is building a world, or a world view as they share their wisdom on a certain topic. I know that in researching family history, situations arise, and there can be information, or information gaps become known that sets me speculating. My overactive imagination takes over and I speculate. I imagine what life was life say in 19^th Century South Australia. I do research about my ancestors emigrating to the Barossa, South Australia in the mid-1800’s. For historical accuracy I try to get hold of primary resources. Spouting unfounded speculation was one of the reasons I almost failed History in Education way back. My two-times great uncle’s fault. If Friedrich Basedow, parliamentarian and in 1881became Minister of Education, hadn’t had the drive to reform the State education system in South Australia, I wouldn’t have a historical chip on my shoulder. (The Basedow Story © Bernhard Basedow 1990) Imagination is good, but especially with non-fiction, good research and supported hard facts must prevail. In this case, world building is based in the real world.

Yet, what is the essence of World Building? How is it done? I believe that central to the art of it is creating. Creating a world or stage in which the characters physically live, move about and interact with. Creating a past from which the characters come and what has made them who they are. Creating rules, norms, boundaries, habits, means of communication, and attitudes that defines the characters as a race or type of being. Creating the mechanics of how stuff works in this world, either by peculiar or unique physics, chemistry, biologically or even dimensionally (are they two dimensional? Or six dimensional?). Creating a world view. Creating a conflict. Creating the people or beings who live in this world.

You may have noticed I have used the world “creating”. To create, I believe begins with imagination. Which is why I still think that whatever world a writer is developing, imagination is the key. The stories that resonate most with us, books like Tolkien’s classic Lord of the Rings, it’s because the world they create is unique and memorable and the reader wants to enter it and stay in there.

But, just in case I haven’t nailed it, because I’ve been general, and creatively waffly, here’s what my AI guru has to say about World Building:

World building is a crucial element in creating immersive and believable settings in a novel, especially in genres like fantasy and science fiction. Here are the main elements of world building:

Geography: This includes the physical layout of the world, such as continents, oceans, mountains, and climate. It sets the stage for the environment in which the characters live.
History: A world’s past can shape its present, so detailing historical events, wars, discoveries, and cultural shifts is important.
Culture: This encompasses the arts, customs, traditions, and social norms of the societies within the world. It also includes language, religion, and societal structures.
Politics and Government: The types of governance, political relations, and power dynamics between different groups and nations within the world.
Economy: How the world’s inhabitants sustain themselves, including trade, currency, industry, and technology.
Magic System (if applicable): If the novel includes magical elements, defining the rules, limitations, and effects of magic is essential.
Flora and Fauna: The creatures and plants that inhabit the world can add depth and wonder to the setting.
Rules and Laws: The physical and metaphysical laws that govern the world. This could include gravity, time, or even the possibility of traveling faster than light.
Conflict: The central conflicts that drive the narrative can be deeply tied to the world’s structure, such as scarce resources, ancient feuds, or clashing ideologies.
Characters: While not a direct part of world building, characters should be shaped by the world they live in, reflecting its values and complexities.

Effective world building creates a rich backdrop that supports the story and characters, making the novel’s universe as compelling as the plot itself. Remember, consistency is key in making your world believable and engaging for the readers.

For further reading to demystify the world building process, here are four links to posts which tackle the topic. They have done a much better job than I ever will on the topic.

Indie Scriptorium — Self Publishing Collective

Helping Each Other Publish

Writing

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Telling vs Showing

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DISTILLING the ESSENCE

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BURIED GOLD

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Fabulous Opening lines.

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Showing and Telling

“Don’t tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass.”

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BIRTH of the NOVEL

The novel was born!

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World Building Exercisefrom a Template

Geography

Religion

Achievements

Politics

Economics

Social Structure

World Building Templates

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World Building and Why I’m Not a Gamemaster…

Worldbuilding References:

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World Building Exercise
from a Template