Our Indie Scriptorium Team has been busy this week preparing for a fantastic local author event, Wordfest. If you happen to be in Adelaide, come to Woodcroft Library, 3 to 7pm this Tuesday September 10.
Indie Scriptorium Self-Publishing Collective Anthology 2024 will be available in print from this date.
As well as the anthology, we will be selling our print copies of our books which include:
[I was scheduled to do a post on the wonders of research via podcast. Ah, how the times have changed! But time, the last few weeks has been in short supply in the world of Lee-Anne Marie Kling. What, with an anthology to put together, my latest ghost-writing project, family history research and our local library “Spring into Books —Wordfest” in which Indie Scriptorium has embroiled ourselves…
Speaking of which, especially harking back to the anthology and having it ready to be available at the “Wordfest”, I came across this post that I wrote a few years ago. Reminded me of a certain member of our team’s mantra: “Computers, you can’t trust them.”
So, here’s a story based on my work experience in the 1980’s. Note: names have been changed for privacy.]
PEARL IN THE SAND
I slumped in my chair and slammed the report on the desk.
‘What’s wrong?’ my colleague, Gerry asked.
‘The boss’s not happy with the report and I have to do the formatting all over again.’
‘Glad it’s you and not me.’
‘Hmmm.’ I fished out the exercise book of computer commands from my pile of books on the desk and leafed through my handwritten notes on commands to do with formatting a document.
My colleague leaned back in his chair and slurped his fourth coffee for the day. ‘I don’t know how you do it. I don’t think I’ll ever get the hang on these computers.’
‘It’s the eighties, they’re not going away,’ I muttered.
‘They’re not user-friendly, you know.’ Another slurp.
‘I know! And the boss thinks I can wave my word-processing wand and poof! Formatting all done.’ I pressed the button on the tower, and then stood up. ‘Third time this week! Third time this week I’ve handed in the report, and he throws it back at me. More work to do. I’m getting a coffee.’
Gerry held out his cup. ‘You wouldn’t mind getting me another one, would you?’
I sighed. ‘Yeah, okay.’
By the time, I returned, the computer was just at the stage it was thinking about starting. Gerry blathered on the phone and the tech guy crouched over another computer, parts scattered over the floor of our office come passage.
Our manager opened the door and poked his head through. ‘How are you going with those changes?’ he asked me.
‘Getting onto it,’ I said and glanced at the screen still blank in contemplation.
My manager raised an eyebrow.
‘It’s starting up.’
‘We have a deadline, you realise. I want that report on my desk tonight.’
‘Yes, sir.’
I turned to the computer. It had decided to have a day off, its blank screen smug, stared at me.
Late spring, not so warm, but beads of perspiration gathered on forehead. I glanced around the small office area. Another workmate, Paul tapped away on a live computer.
I approached him. ‘Would I be able to borrow your computer sometime today? I have to fix up my report and have it delivered to the boss.’
Paul shook his head. ‘I have a document that must be done asap.’ He turned to me. ‘Isn’t there another computer?’
I surveyed the scene of devastation behind me; the tech guy’s handiwork of a dismembered computer lay scattered on the rug. ‘No,’ then with desperation in my tone, ‘I have to finish my report today, but…The launch is in two weeks.’
‘I too, have a deadline. Tomorrow.’ Paul turned back to his computer and resumed tapping away on the keyboard.
Tech guy entered the office holding his cup of tea in one hand and sandwich in the other. He stepped over the computer bits.
I looked at Tech guy. ‘I need a computer. Mine’s not working.’
‘The boss’ll just have to wait,’ Tech guy said.
I shuffled out of the office and to the café for lunch. Gerry lounged on a couch having an extended lunch.
‘Have to wait my turn for a computer,’ I grumbled to him.
He laughed. ‘Glad it’s you and not me.’
Back at the office, Tech Guy had my computer running. What is it with Tech Guys, they have this way with computers? I settled down to work when I heard sniffling from the PA’s office next door. I glanced at her. She wiped her eyes and hid her face from me.
I opened my mouth to ask her what’s wrong.
Tech Guy zoomed up to me and whispered, ‘The boss’s decided he doesn’t trust computers and he’s asked her to type out your report on her electric typewriter.’
‘What?’
‘Yeah, just after I spent the whole morning fixing up computers. I got yours going.’
The PA fed the paper into the typewriter. She then covered her face, stood up and raced out of the office.
‘No,’ Tech Guy scratched the bald spot at the back of his head, ‘I’m going to talk to the boss. She can’t do all the work for you. It’s just not right.’ He strode into the manager’s office.
A few minutes later, Tech Guy emerged, thumbs up and a smile spread across his face. ‘I made him see sense. The job is yours again.’
‘Thanks.’
Comforted by the fact that the PA had the load of my report lifted from her, but troubled that I must battle with the office computer, I gritted my teeth and spent the afternoon and into the evening tackling the formatting of my report.
When I handed my manager the report, he flicked through the pages and nodded. ‘Much better, well done,’ he said.
A week later I met with my Pastoral Care Worker. I’d been off work a week after succumbing to a virus.
‘Why did I have to go through all that? Why can’t things go smoothly?’ I asked him.
‘It’s the troubles,’ he said, ‘that refine and grow us. Like a pearl, the sand irritates it and eventually you get a beautiful pearl.’
Over the years, I’ve remembered those words of wisdom—the bosses that demand perfection, the prickly pears, the obnoxious computers that resist being user-friendly—all that irritates, has grown me.
And the “pearl”, one of my best memories after all those troubles in our office—the following week, a day before the launch of my report, unhampered by printers not able to print and collate the report for us, the team worked in unity and joy around the long table, collating and binding the report. I realised that projects are not a task we do on our own, but with others as a team.
A synopsis is like describing a photo and including every detail that the eye beholds in a couple of paragraphs. It has to be succinct, engaging and include the style and themes of the novel. A pitch is a very short synopsis. An elevator pitch even shorter.
A synopsis is mostly used to sell your novel to an agent or a publisher. It is also useful to summarise your novel for presentations and marketing. However, don’t use a synopsis with potential readers or you will be giving away too much information.
My critique group has recently tackled the difficult issue of writing a synopsis and it spurred me on to revisit this topic. A 300–800-word synopsis is a document that sells your work, hooks the agent/publisher and gets your manuscript out of the slush pile.
So, where do you begin? Start by defining what is happening (the status quo). Bring in the inciting incident, the developments leading to the crisis and finish with the resolution of the crisis.
When writing a synopsis, it is important to include:
A clear outline of your plot including the hook at the beginning, big moments in the narrative, plot twists and the ending. You are giving the publisher/agent a full account of your novel so don’t hide anything as they want to know everything and especially that you have a satisfying ending.
You should give a description of your main protagonists and reveal how they change and grow throughout the book. Character names can be underlined or made bold, so their importance is shown.
Start your synopsis with a strong hook.
Showcase how your novel is different with strong themes and unique ideas.
Write the synopsis in the 3rd person, present tense and use clear, easily read sentences with immaculate grammar and spelling.
Make sure the synopsis document contains your name, the title and synopsis so it is easily found by the agent/publisher.
Also include the genre, word count and who you think will be your readers.
Of course you cannot possibly publish the synopsis for your own novels. So, I decided to do a synopsis of a book that most people have read or know the ending through multiple movies and television shows. With abject apologies to Jane Austen, I will attempt a synopsis of Pride and Prejudice.
Pride and Prejudice – Long Synopsis (462 words)
A historical romantic novel of 122,189 words. Suitable for readers of refined literature.
Elizabeth Bennett (Lizzy) is the second eldest of five unmarried sisters whose financial circumstances leaves them all in the unenviable position of needing to marry into money. Lizzy is bold, intelligent, reads extensively and declares she will not marry unless in love.
Mr Darcy an extremely rich, handsome, gentleman accompanies his friend Mr Bingley to Netherfield. The arrival of two eligible men rouses excitement in the Bennett household. While Bingley forms an attachment to older sister Jane, Lizzy quickly concludes that Darcy is cold and proud, and she spurns him despite his large fortune.
Jane and Bingley fall in love and a proposal is expected, then Bingley mysteriously leaves for London. Jane is heartbroken and Lizzy incensed by her sister’s rejection. Her anger intensifies when she is expected to marry her cousin, the incorrigible Mr Collins. She refuses and Mr Collins finds solace with Lizzy’s best friend.
The arrival of the militia to the district brightens the lives of the Bennett sisters. Lizzy meets Wickham an exceedingly handsome but poor Lieutenant and the son of Darcy’s late steward. Wickham accuses Darcy of cheating him out of a legacy. This firms Lizzy’s prejudice against Darcy.
While visiting Mr and Mrs Collins, Lizzy again encounters Darcy who is visiting his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bough. Lizzy is discombobulated to receive an ill-considered marriage proposal from Darcy. She angrily rejects him because he admits that he stopped Bingley marrying her sister.
Darcy realises too late that he has fallen in love with Lizzy. He makes such a hash of his proposal that he fears he has lost any chance of overcoming her prejudice. He does warn her about the sleezy Wickham who’d tried to elope with his younger sister.
An unexpected holiday in Derbyshire with her uncle and aunt allows Lizzy to visit Pemberton, Darcy’s stately home. She is mortified when Darcy arrives and finds her there. This second chance allows Darcy to reveal his love and admiration for Lizzy and her preconceptions mellow. During this renewed courtship Lizzy learns her youngest sister Lydia has absconded with Wickham and her family face ruin. Darcy forsakes Lizzy and their romance seems doomed.
But Darcy searches for, and makes Wickham marry Lydia. He apologises to Bingley for interfering in his courtship and encourages him propose to Jane. Bingley proposes and Jane accepts. Darcy’s actions prove to Lizzy that he loves her.
A visit from the formidable Lady Catherine de Bough, warns Lizzy that Darcy is contemplating marrying her against his family’s wishes. Lady Catherine claims Darcy is engaged to her daughter and demands Lizzy reject her nephew. Lizzy refuses and realises she has fallen in love with Darcy. When he proposes she gladly accepts.
Short Synopsis – 256 words
Historical romantic novel. 122,189 words.
When Mr Bingley brings his friend Mr Darcy to his new country house, Mrs Bennett expects one of them will marry one of her five unmarried daughters. Jane and Mr Bingley are attracted but Lizzy finds Darcy’s proud contempt insufferable.
Jane is jilted by Bingley leaving Lizzy incensed. Her mood intensifies when she is expected to marry her odious cousin, Mr Collins. Despite Mrs Bennett’s pressure, Lizzy resists, Mr Collins and he marries her best friend instead.
The arrival of the militia to the district brightens the lives of the Bennett sisters. Lizzy is attracted to Lieutenant Wickham, the poor son of Darcy’s steward. Learning that Darcy withheld an inheritance from Wickham firms Lizzy’s prejudice.
A visit to Mr and Mrs Collins forces Lizzy to again spend time with Darcy. He’s fallen in love and proposes but his admission that he stopped Bingley marrying Jane ruins his chances. He warns Lizzy Mr Wickham has a penchant for very young girls.
While holidaying in Derbyshire with her aunt and uncle, Lizzy visits the Darcy stately home. Darcy arrives unexpectedly and Lizzy is mortified but this second chance allows Darcy to court Lizzy. Her preconceptions mellow. Just as the romance blossoms Lizzy learns that Wickham has run off with her youngest sister. This means ruination for her family and Darcy abandons Lizzy.
But Darcy searches for Wickham and makes him marry Lizzy’s sister. He encourages Bingley to propose to Jane. His actions prove his love for Lizzy. When he proposes she gladly accepts.
Elevator Pitch – 19 words
A regency romance revealing that first impressions can be misleading and true love can overcome both pride and prejudice.
Shorter Elevator pitch – 3 words.
Love overcomes prejudice.
Jericho Writers has an excellent web site: How to Write a Novel Synopsis. It includes step by step instructions and clear guidelines.
[This piece is so freshly written that the ink, if it were printed, would still be drying. It’s my thoughts on the subject of the value of “telling” in a writing world dominated by “showing”. I relate, here my own experiences as a writer and, being late at night here in Adelaide, South Australia, it hasn’t had the rigorous checks from the Indie Scriptorium team, or my mother. Please excuse any mistakes. They will be corrected in the next day or two.]
Telling vs Showing
I remember my early days in Writers’ group. Every time one of the members had a “telling passage” or a “was” in their sentence, the mentor went into meltdown.
So memorable her reaction to such writing offences, that, like the good writing students that we were, we avoided “telling” and “wases” as if they were the plague.
This “showing’ trend has flavoured storytelling since, I’m guessing, the advent of visual media, television and movies. So, at least the last hundred years. Before such time, literature was soaked in “telling”, passive voice and let’s not forget, the stodgy weasel words of the adverb and adjective kind. Read old news reports from the nineteenth century which you can on Trove, and you’ll see what I mean—weasel words as thick as treacle.
Why? In the past before television and movies, readers relied on minute descriptions to visualise the story. However, these days, “telling” all that detail sends the modern-day reader asleep. These days, readers prefer and enjoy “showing”. After all, isn’t visual media all showing?
Now, showing is fine. I attempted to find an article on the value of telling, especially since I believed that historical pieces and memoir would be more accurate and effective as telling—especially if a reader is researching and needs to gather facts as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Could I find it?
No. Na-na!
Gone with the wind and tide of proverbial algorithms to the bottom of the sea of blogs and posts. Thus, galvanising the rule that “showing” trumps “telling”.
So, as I was saying, for years I trained my storytelling craft to show and not tell. My first published novel Mission of the Unwilling is testimony to the triumph of showing over telling at all costs, an exemplar of page-turning, heart racing, showing and non-stop action in space.
The feedback? It was exhausting! Too fast-paced and gory images that the poor reader can never erase from their mind. Oh, well, the first is the worst, so they say.
As time progressed, the mentor moved on and the writers’ group grew up, I mean, matured as writers. Telling and the word “was” crept into our prose. When questioned, the more experienced, wiser writers replied, “What’s wrong with was?” Or “Telling moves the story on—as long as it’s not too much.”
I began to notice television shows such as “Arrested Development” and also famous people authoring their memoirs, use loads of “wases”, have heaps of telling, weasel words galore, plus plenty of passive sentences. And do you know what? I enjoyed watching these shows and reading these narratives.
But still, I soldiered on with showing with the avoidance of telling. I produced another four books which I published on Amazon. Yet, as time progressed, the occasional “was” crept in and stayed. Some telling did too. As did the weasel words. Was I getting slack in my old writing-age? No, such techniques balanced the storytelling and give the prose flow and rhythm.
Then, last year, I pulled out an old manuscript from 2010. Each week I revised, edited and then read a chapter from this story. No one complained. They nodded and said, “We can’t wait to hear what happens next.” I gave them all a completed copy to read as beta readers.
And here is where the story of that old manuscript becomes unhinged. Elsie King and my mother also received a beta copy. Now, keep in mind that this manuscript was written in the days when “show” was at its zenith in my writers’ group, and “telling” was to be hunted down and burnt at the stake.
Elsie’s report on the manuscript was scathing. She pulled the book to shreds and, apart from the idea I had, there was nothing redeemable in the manuscript.
Then, the nail in the coffin, mum started reading the story. “This is a disaster,” she said. “the prose is all jerky.”
Needless to say, I will not inflict the story on you readers for another ten years or so. Will take that long to fix it all up.
We figured out, however, that the main problem with this manuscript was that there was too much telling. Again, like Mission of the Unwilling, too fast paced with no place for the reader to rest. As for the “jerky” prose, that was also down to too much showing to avoid the passive sentences and “was”.
I might add here, I put the manuscript through the Microsoft Word editor, and it didn’t have anything good to say about the words written.
To conclude, what I learnt through this experience, was that telling does have its place. Telling is useful for pacing and to give the reader a rest after fast-paced action or high drama. In addition, telling, the use of the occasional adverb or adjective, or even “was” can help the words flow in the art of storytelling.
Do you want to write? Wish you could write? Feel you have stories in your head that want to come out, stories you are sure others would enjoy? But you just don’t know where to start!
Many would-be writers seem to think that you must start at the beginning, work your way through the first chapter then the next and the next until you get to the end. Finito! Ready for publication!
This may be the way it is for some; but in my experience, very few. Very, very few. Such folk are rare birds indeed and quite possibly rare birds with a great deal of experience. The rest of us have to do things differently.
One way that is highly recommended and successfully used by many is to work out a plan; make notes for each chapter; shuffle things around a bit if it seems better that way; add or subtract incidents, characters, locations… Then, when you are happy with the big picture you’ve worked out, you can get writing. Many will begin at the beginning and proceed in an orderly manner, chapter by chapter. Others will find it more satisfactory; more useful to jump in the middle somewhere; write the easy bits (or maybe the harder bits!) first up. Doesn’t matter; all equally valid and ultimately successful. So go with what suits you.
I’ve always seen my “early-draft” writing as a sort of jigsaw puzzle – dozens of pieces (ideas) to be fitted together in such a way that they would eventually create a “picture” to be enjoyed or confronted or challenged by or…
As a kid I loved jigsaws; spent hours doing them and devised many different ways of tackling them. The easiest way was to separate out all the edge pieces; assemble the “frame” then fill in the middle. If I wanted a challenge, I’d divide the big heap into little heaps of similar colours and go from there. The ultimate challenge was to do the whole thing using all the pieces reversed, i.e. on a large tray or rectangular pan used for cooking slices or cakes and with the plain backing uppermost. When complete I’d carefully tip the whole lot out to check for success (or failure!).
Using the jigsaw analogy, my initial writing on scraps of paper; on the backs of envelopes or circular letters are the jigsaw pieces. Sometimes it might be great chunks of scribbled prose (or poetry). At other times just a sentence or two, a few words that seemed to sing; to sum up a situation, a feeling, an incident, a character… It’s all grist to the mill; grist that I will re-arrange, add to, change, scrap, enhance, re-locate, delete…
Whenever I begin with a nice, orderly, logical plan or outline I feel it’s like starting the jigsaw with the edge pieces; things flow and there is a comfortable feeling of achievement. Many times, however, I feel I’m wrestling with all the pieces upside down, the blank backs of the bits, no idea of the final picture.
I know my finished product has to have a beginning, a middle and an end. It must flow; have a logical sequence of events; maybe a crisis and resolution; drama, pathos, evince tears or laughter or… But this is the finished work; ready for a reader to enjoy. The completed jigsaw puzzle.
So, how do you tackle your writing? Are you hobbled by the belief that youmust start at the beginning and laboriously work your way through in logical progression? Or do you always just jump in the deep end, flounder around, fed up and frustrated? Either way it is far too easy to decide this writing racket is all too hard; you’ve no talent; it’s not for you. Which is sad if you have ideas and stories in your head that you want to share, if you find words fascinating and putting them together in interesting ways a satisfying and fulfilling challenge.
When it comes to grammar and basic sentence structure there ARE rules that need to be obeyed. If you don’t know the rules or your knowledge of them is wobbly, you don’t need to see this as a major roadblock – there are plenty of people willing and able to help tidy up writing for those who see the rules of grammar as a bit of a handicap but don’t let this stop them getting their ideas down onto paper. These people are called editors, and all published authors value the contributions they make to the final success of their literary efforts. There is absolutely no humiliation or shame attached to using the services of an editor. Just make sure you get a kind, caring and, above all, knowledgeable one!!
BUT but, but.
There are no rules at all when it comes the actual writing bit itself. How, when where you do it is up to you; your own choice to suit you and your lifestyle. Do it your way; whatever feels right and comfortable for YOU. But do just grab a pen, pencil, bit of paper and write.
Many, many years ago I read something that, as a writer, has haunted me ever since.
Those words painted a picture that stayed in my mind – it is only a simple picture but vivid and emotive; a picture I wish I had the skill to record with repaint.
The sun is low in the sky – morning or evening it matters not. I’m sitting by a lake surrounded by trees but nestled in a mountainous land. Far away, at the other end the mountains soar up in cliffs that come right to the edge of the lake. At one point a waterfall cascades in a maelstrom of spray.
However, in front of me, things are more peaceful. As the sun to my left is so low in the sky the trees are casting long shadows across the lake. A gentle breeze is disturbing the leaves causing those shadows to move while at the same time rippling the surface of the water so the shadows break up and re-form.
As I said, a simple picture: two short paragraphs; one hundred and nineteen words in all. I hope, with my word picture, I’ve been able to get you to see what I can see, feel a little of what I feel whenever I bring this to mind.
“So, what!!” I can hear you muttering. “Where are you going with all this waffle? What’s the point? And that title makes no sense at all!”
If I were you, I’d agree entirely. So let me explain. It was a mere seven words from a poem written about two hundred years ago by Alfred, Lord Tennyson; Englishman whose life spanned the eighteen hundreds (1809 – 1892). Those seven words? –
“The long light shakes across the lake.”
To be able to produce seven simple little words, all but one a single syllable and arrange them in such a way that they gave me a vivid picture was thrilling. I was awe struck. And humbled. This was what writing was all about! Would; could, I ever be able to attain a level of skill to match this??
The next line; (another seven words!) “And the wild cataract leaps in glory” fleshed things out; completed the picture. Wow!!
[Our Indie Scriptorium team have been putting together an anthology of some of our posts over the last two years. As I hunted around my messy computer filing-system for a number of these cheeky posts that went hiding, I came across this gem that somehow got buried in the vast layers of time. Amazing what one finds when searching for something else. So, with a few changes, here it is…Enjoy and be encouraged.]
BURIED GOLD
People spend their lives building their own kingdoms. As creators, we often measure success by how far our name-brand spreads over the “Empire” of the internet, world, community, and how much “gold” (money) we’ve amassed through the sale of our product.
When I first started exhibiting my paintings, friends, family, and fellow artists asked, ‘Have you sold?’ and ‘How many paintings have you sold?’
The fact that I had sold made me an authentic artist.
Same can be true as an author of two self-published works of fiction. Again, like a broken record, those interested asked, ‘How many books have you sold?’
Answer, ‘Er, um…not that many.’
Then the implication I should have gone through the traditional route of getting a publisher.
Yup, maybe, probably…still deciding if I’ll do that with future books, especially the travel ones that have colour photos on glossy pages—the coffee-table variety. Not sure how I’d go…I mean, I’m not an unpublished “virgin” since I’ve gone ahead and self-published on Amazon. I got impatient, afraid I’d remain invisible with a pile of rejection letters, and my novel manuscripts languishing as a PDF-file on my computer hard-drive (the hard copies stored in a box in my closet).
So, I published The Hitch-hiker (a novella) and Mission of the Unwilling(novel), on Amazon. Check them out. You can download them for the cost of a cup of coffee and find out what mischief Boris gets up to.
[Photo 1: The Hitch-Hiker (c) L.M. Kling 2015]
After publishing, having a little launch in our South Aussie pre-Christmas summer sweltering in 40 degrees Celsius, then a DIY advertising with bookmarks, flyers and emails, I decided to do research on how other Indi-authors built up their e-book kingdoms. There must be a secret method for digging up the buried gold of success in sales.
[Photo 2: Mission of the Unwilling (c) L.M. Kling 2015]
I discovered a mine of information lighting up my computer screen. I also discovered a precious nugget in an old Australian Artist Magazine—stand-out quality. In today’s language, I assume that means “brand”.
So, when at our SALA exhibition launch, a friend told me they knew which paintings were mine, that I had a unique style, I thanked them. I was on the right track with my “brand”.
But my books? Well, there’s Boris…albeit swamped by millions of other characters on Amazon.
Then, I discovered a gem—blogging. Not in the way I anticipated, though. I was optimistic. With my blogging presence, out there, I expected sales to rise and hundreds of instant visitors to my blogsite. My works were brilliant, right?
My posts drowned under the deluge of millions of other posts, tweets, Facebook pages, and other more successful blogs. For weeks, I remained South Australia’s best kept secret. Even my mum couldn’t find me—not even with my help on her computer.
Fellow writers at my writers’ group suggested I needed to post articles more frequently, get those WWW- “neural”-pathways (Algorithms) working by increasing traffic. Still, the site remained as lively as a cemetery.
Over time, I gathered a band of followers: friends, family, colleagues from church, writers’ and art group. Interest ensued—all Australian—no likes.
Undeterred, I wrote and published posts once or twice a week. Writing, my therapy. The articles available for free, my gift to the world. I prayed that there’d be others out there who’d find my words, and consider them useful, inspirational, amusing.
Week by week, comments and likes (mostly from mum) trickled in. Then, a comment from someone I didn’t know…and a visitor from the United States. Oh, what joy!
A friend encouraged me. I’d improved since they first started reading my blogs. Yes, writing is a craft; the discipline and practice refined my skill to communicate.
I read posts from other bloggers. I liked the posts that resonated with me. I knew I must start commenting. Friends who had websites and blogs said that’s how you make your presence known in the blogging community. I usually read WordPress articles late at night and was concerned my comments would come across as sleep garbled. Eventually, I plucked up the courage to comment. My first comment was about cats.
Each month, slow and steady, the number of followers, likes and visitors grew. My site on WordPress, the first place I visit each day when I open my computer. What countries have visited today? Check the emails. Who has liked me? Who’s following? I visit their sites and see what gems of writing, stories, photos, or paintings they have.
My world has opened; I read stories from every continent…and my stories shared around the globe.
Photo 3: Screenshot, My Stats for the Year (c) L.M. Kling 2024
The treasure I found by entering the world of bloggers, is not the gold I collect in my bank account for my own kingdom from my own works, but the cities of gold we share collectively as writers and artists. We put our stories out there and celebrate each other’s works.
So, a heart-felt thank you for all you who have followed, liked and visited my humble site—and thank you all for your stories, insights, artwork and photography.
Photo 4: Screenshot, visitors from all over the world (c) L.M. Kling 2024
So, if you’ve started up a blog/website and are waiting for it to be noticed, don’t give up. Keep writing, reading, commenting, liking and following and watch your readership grow.
It’s my opinion a good opening line isn’t essential for your story or novel, but it won’t do it any harm.
My critique group decided to revisit the essentials of writing as a way of everyone learning from the same page and improving our collective efforts at finding the right words for our various projects.
First topic – opening lines.
I realised that when I read a novel I don’t get put off by the opening line hence my opinion that a good opening line is not essential is from my personal experience. However, I love books written in third person in past tense so if the first line has an omniscient POV and is written in the present tense I tend to put it back on the library shelf.
So, what makes a good opening line?
I googled the above question and found some great information.
The Literary Hub presented an article by Allegra Hyde.
A good opening line “should capture your characters voice, it should carry your style, and it should be relevant and meaningful enough to engage your readers and entice them to read onto the next line.” An, “elegantly balanced dose of clarity and curiosity.”
However, it should not be “so heavy that it weighs on you or so literary that it chases away or confuses the reader.”
Allegra also suggests that the opening lines clarity should provide a sense of time, place, character and plot. The curiosity can involve the element of tragedy, conflict, mystery that fuels your story.
Suggest a short clear sentence that grabs the readers attention.
Use verbs correctly and adjectives sparingly.
Use words that add weight.
It doesn’t have to be loud; subtlety can be effective.
After doing this research I decided that for me a good opening line:
Is a short sentence where every word has weight and substance.
Intrigues the reader
Clarifies if the novel is written in first person, third person or omniscient.
Provides the tone of the book
Pulls the reader into the situation
Infuses them with curiosity about what comes next.
I then found some examples of opening lines I loved:(you can’t beat the classics)
Albert Camus – “Mother died today.”
Jane Austen – “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” (apparently the most famous opening line ever)
Charles Dickens – “Marley was dead: to begin with.” (love this one)
So, putting the new knowledge into our own writing I have selected to test out some ideas for my new romantic short story Honeygate.
He stood at the back of the hall his face shrouded by a deep hoodie. (Does capture the tone of the story but too descriptive with no hook)
Magical, menacing mesmerising. (Fuels the curiosity but doesn’t provide any clarity about who’s talking or the situation)
I couldn’t see his face but his gaze stole my well-rehearsed words and left me floundering. (clearly defines the characters point of view, raises curiosity, puts it into a context and suggests the potential conflict between the protagonists)
Just doing this exercise has raised my awareness of the importance of an opening line and given me some directions so I can play around with various types of lines and find the best one.
What I found particularly helpful is that using a first-person POV would work well for this story. My heroine has felt the impact of the hero’s gaze and is discombobulated enough to forget her speech she can have the stage from here on and tell us her story from her perspective.
“Don’t tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass.”
–Anton Chekhov
The pictures in an exhibition do not come with a detailed written description. You don’t get paragraphs telling the viewer what the subject matter is, what colours are used and why, what time of day the painting depicts the theme, composition or the medium used. The pictures show all that information. The little accompanying tag tells you the essentials—title, medium, artist name and price. That’s all you need.
In creative writing we use both showing and telling. But what does showing mean? What is telling? How do you differentiate when to show and when to tell? It can be tricky to sort it out, but these are my ideas.
Telling enables the author to provide quick, factual information. It may be important, but you don’t need to go into the information in any depth. It can move a story along efficiently. It’s like the painting tag, brief, factual but essential information. Telling may move the reader to another time, another place, mention the weather, comment on a relationship but it is briefly mentioned. Nothing is happening in the time or place that requires delving into the character or the story.
Telling examples: Twenty years later she found herself back in Rome.
It was a hot night.
He got married twice before he met the love of his life.
Showing is like painting a picture. It gets the reader to look deeply at a scene, often through the characters perspective, thoughts and dialogue. It delves into the character and situation and stirs the heart. It is slower and richer. Showing is the writer’s device to enter into the character, to use their senses, thoughts and emotions. It creates drama and provokes emotions and wonder in the reader.
Some examples:
Rome, the heat was cruel, the smell of dust and onions spiced the air. Nothing had changed in twenty years except there were more people on the streets and the noise of traffic roared in the background. Brenda sniffed, felt the baking, rough stone beneath her fingers. “Hello Rome, I’m back.” She laughed and remembered. I wonder if he’s still alive.
Heat wept from the night sky.
Robert’s heart actually pounded. He was too old for this. She looked like an angel her white hair long, lush and thick, her eyes deep pools of love. Her body strained towards him. I don’t deserve her. He turned to his son with a grin. “I should have bought a dog thirty years ago. Loyal, loving and much cheaper than two wives.”
The balance of showing and telling is something that I hadn’t considered prior to this blog. When you think of it, it should be easy. You show when you write an important dramatic scene but tell when you want to move your story to the next dramatic scene. But too much drama can be overwhelming while too much telling slows the story down and distances the reader.
You also must think about if you want the reader to be moved by what you are writing. Some subject matter is so dramatic it’s better to distance the reader by just telling events.
I’m currently working on a story which is about the very emotive subject of abortion. I’ve written it using more telling than showing and I think this works as it steps the reader back from what may cause distress or anger. The following paragraphs I hope illustrate my technique. The telling is in bold script.
Mavis finished feeding the baby, changed his wet nappy and swaddled him in his blanket. He looked at her with trusting dark blue eyes, his skin a golden colour his little fists fighting to get free of the blanket. But milk, comfort and gentle rocking made wakefulness futile. Mavis tucked him back into the cardboard box and pondered who to contact first.
Abandonment became a movement. The papers took sides. The right-wing journalists condemned the mothers of the children. The left -wing journalists blamed the right for life movement and evangelical churches. The airways rang with strident arguments and the police and social services complained of a lack of resources and put out regular appeals for more funding and foster carers.
“What’s happening to the babies, Caroline?” Mavis asked as she handed over another child from the front porch of an old Congregational Church. She now knew the names of many of the police officers, paramedics, nurses and social workers.
“Oh, Mavis” the woman’s eyes welled with tears. “We can’t get any more foster carers and the adoption process is, well it’s slow because they have to check everything before they can do a legal adoption. It’s a mess, and the entire system is overwhelmed. Lots of these babies have special needs and we can’t get them in with foster parents anyway. They couldn’t cope. We’ve had to open up orphanages and even that isn’t working. These babies need a mom and dad. They don’t do well if they don’t have cuddles and attention. It’s so sad.”
Mavis remembered seeing pictures of abandoned orphans in Russia or was it Romania? Remembered sunken sad eyes, skeletal bodies covered in sores. She felt her heart pound and her stomach clench. Her doctor said it was anxiety, but Mavis knew it for what it was, guilt. They had demanded the abolition of abortion and that was causing this horrible dilemma. They had saved the unborn, but the living children were suffering.
I hope this give other writers some ideas about showing and telling. I am considering doing the above exercise on my writing as another editing technique. It certainly makes you aware of when you are showing and when you are telling and what balance is required for the piece of writing.
Hope you get something out of this too.
The following references were used for this blog. They go into this topic in detail and provide fitting examples and explanations.
Jericho Writers – Show don’t Tell: What it means and why it matters – Henry Bingham (no date provided)
Writers write – How to master “Show don’t Tell” – Kyle A. Massa 2023
Pro-writing aid – “Show don’t tell” in Creative Writing – Sean Glatch 2022
Indie Scriptorium -- Self Publishing Collective 