Jan’s Gran’s Van

Following on from “Raised commas aka Dratted apostrophes” back in September, we thought you might enjoy the following text of a children’s story featuring these pesky punctuation marks (taken to a somewhat bizarre level, we must admit). Bizarre as they are, in this piece we can assure you that this is grammatically correct.

Jan and her Gran

Jan has a Gran,

Gran belongs to Jan

And Jan has fun with her Gran.

Jan’s Gran has a van.

The van belongs to Gran,

Gran belongs to Jan

And Jan has fun with her Gran.

Jan’s Gran’s van had wings,

the wings belonged to the van,

the van belongs to Gran,

Gran belongs to Jan

and Jan has fun with her Gran.

Jan’s Gran’s van’s wings had nuts.

The nuts belonged to the wings,

the wings belonged to the van,

the van belongs to Gran,

Gran belongs to Jan

and Jan has fun with her Gran.

Jan’s Gran’s van’s wings nuts held the wings onto Jan’s Gran’s van

so Jan and her Gran could hop in the van and go off on trips.

They would jump in that van

and then they were off,

up, up and off.

            Off to spots that were cold

            and spots that were hot.

Spots that were wet

and spots that were not—

up, up and off

                  to fun spots galore.

Then it was spring and a trip was planned.

They packed lots of things—

        Drinks…

            lunches…

                        rugs…

                                  maps…

BUT!

When they checked the van

            the nuts fell off.

            When the nuts fell off

            the wings fell off.

           When the wings fell off

                       they could not

                                    be up, up and off.

So that trip was off.

Jan was sad.

Jan’s Gran was sad.

But the van would still go—

NOT up, up and up

but still…

                        it WOULD go.

That van could still go on trips—

lots and lots.

            So Jan and her Gran

            plugged up the spots where the wings fell off.

Then—

            in they hopped

            and off they went,

Jan and her Gran

in the van with no wings.

They went

            to spots that were cold

            and spot that were hot,         

            spots that were wet

            and spots that were not—

Fun spots galore!

        And Jan…

            STILL has fun with her Gran.

© Mary McDee 2022

Feature Photo: Floral Caravan and Car at Adelaide flower festival © Sam Gross circa 1960